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Admit it - you fart - and you love it

"There are plenty worse things to smell every day besides farts, whether or not they're yours."

I have known a few rare folks that could seriously put this theory to a test.

One guy I used to work with would play raquetball every Thursday night. Then go to the club bar with his buddies and drink beer and eat fried onion strings (kinda like fried onion rings). Friday mornings were always situations that could prove to be almost deadly when this guy unleashed....literally could not stay in the room for almost 20 minutes or more. And we live not far from mushroom houses....you do know what mushrooms grow in right????

nododies guessing the average per day number of toots for male or female....

by the way Miss Shelf...what's worse than smelling somebody else's fart????

puke comes to mind...but what else...
 
It depends on what I've eaten of course, but my phobia of sh*tting in public makes it worse. I mean, I can tinkle in a public restroom, but nothing else, so every once in a while, I get caught in a vicious needing-to-poo-farting-cycle and can't get myself home to my own comfy toilet.

But farting is a good reason to carry matches. If you have just a sec to duck into a private place, you can light one and wave it around your rear after to burn off the smell. Just not too close to the rear, and certainly not mid fart!
 
I've known a few people who absolutely refuse to poop at work. They'll take time off to go home if need be.

I've also know a few who relish the idea of getting paid to poop.
(if you're paid by the hour at work, and your sitting on the throne, you're getting paid to poop...right?)

potty habits are funny...

getting back to topic....it's average. Some days you fart more than others depending on diet, but it all averages out...gimme a basic number per day...guess... you are not graded on this...what do you think?

Does the average guy fart 45 times a day and the average girl fart 95 times a day???
 
LMAO at being graded on farts! Omigosh, my pretty new monitor, baptized by coffee for the first time.

Okay, I'll bite. I'd guess I fart about 6 or 7 times a day. But its sort of like dreaming isn't it? I mean, I can only count the farts I recall, and some of those little squeaky ones are not so memorable. . . .

It's probably going to end up being some huge number that I never could even have hoped to imagine though. Or worse, I way overshot it, and I'm going to learn about all the gastrointestinal illnesses that might be afflicting me.
 
Okay, I think I recall hearing it was some enormous number - like, 40 times a day or something. I don't recall hearing it was any different for men or women, though.

But people vary so much, so I don't understand how they can come up with an 'average'. I mean, vegetarians are known to fart more due to the construct of the food they eat. I know a guy who, after he takes a poo, will be farting for hours. And I know another fella who is unbearable after he eats spicy food.

So... I'm not sure I hold too much stock in 'averages'. I know I'm pretty constant each day - no food will make me fart noticably more or less. And I'd say the number of times I 'let one rip' each day is maybe 7 times... and that's factoring in ones that I don't notice or do in my sleep. It's now 4:30pm and I can't recall farting all day. Perhaps that's why the air in my office doesn't smell like flowers right now...
 
Off the top of my head, I'll say that the smell that comes when you lift the lid of the garbage can on a hot day is worse than a fart.

I can't believe supposedly adult people are discussing how many times a day they fart, the quality of the smell, etc. The last frontier as far as discussing biological processes is excretion, so if this is being discussed in a book forum, won't be long till we're treated to the sight of TV characters straining on the john while the laugh track blares. That day is the day I quit watching TV.
 
Miss Shelf said:
I can't believe supposedly adult people are discussing how many times a day they fart, the quality of the smell, etc. The last frontier as far as discussing biological processes is excretion, so if this is being discussed in a book forum, won't be long till we're treated to the sight of TV characters straining on the john while the laugh track blares. That day is the day I quit watching TV.
Click to expand...

Ah, it's a bit of fun! Lightened up my day. Besides, if anyone was offended by this the title of the thread ought to keep them away - there's nothing in here that the thread title doesn't warn about. It is a natural process that EVERYONE does, no matter their race, religion, creed, etc. And until someone says that farts smell like deities it's not contravening TBF guidlines, is it?

But okay, let's keep things book-related. Who reads on the john? And how many people have a copy of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader in their water closet?
 
"moto you should get an award. tbf keeps you up at night doesn't it?"

Nope, I just like to have fun, and what red-blooded male does not have fun with a good fart?

This is the General Discussion area in the Non-book Related area. We can discuss anything we want regardless of book related or not. As long as it does not degrade into religion or politics.

It's called fun for some people and those that don't like it don't have to come into this thread. The Queen farts, and so does the Pope. People laugh and giggle when a baby farts, but god forbid an adult does it. That's just non-sense.

If you didn't fart you would probably die from a ruptured intestine. It's a normal, healthy part of being alive. Why such a negative stigma?
 
Motokid said:
Why such a negative stigma?
Click to expand...
Hey, just 'cos I do it doesn't mean I need to make a big parade out of it! It's a private bodily function that I wish people would keep to themselves. It's not that hard to get up and go to the bathroom to fart, or to stand downwind from someone, or to just step into a more ventilated area. Most people know when they're going to let one 'rip'. We may fart 40 times a day, but most of those are subtle and don't smell or sound, so the ones that do are not that hard to keep to yourself.

Smelling someone else's fart is disgusting!! I don't like walking into my bathroom and smelling evidence of the previous person's deposit either. That's what the deoderiser and the fan are for! I really object to having my personal space invaded by someone else's gas. That's not justification for negative stigma??
 
Motokid said:
"moto you should get an award. tbf keeps you up at night doesn't it?"

Nope, I just like to have fun, and what red-blooded male does not have fun with a good fart?

This is the General Discussion area in the Non-book Related area. We can discuss anything we want regardless of book related or not. As long as it does not degrade into religion or politics.

It's called fun for some people and those that don't like it don't have to come into this thread. The Queen farts, and so does the Pope. People laugh and giggle when a baby farts, but god forbid an adult does it. That's just non-sense.

If you didn't fart you would probably die from a ruptured intestine. It's a normal, healthy part of being alive. Why such a negative stigma?
Click to expand...

"fun" means different things to different people. I'm curious though-if a bunch of people complained that this thread is offensive, would it be deleted? (before you jump on me for being humorless, I don't find it offensive, just appalling how some people seem to be fascinated by this subject. Some of us don't prefer to let it all hang out, you know.)
 
Actually, all it takes is for one person to be offended to close a thread. I asked that question back in my "Are you offended" thead I believe. The mod's then look at the thread in question and decide what's best for the forum. But to be specific, if one person was able to express that a particular thread is really, truely offensive, then that would be enough to close a thread.

I am sure if I got this wrong it will be commented on by a mod.
 
Well, since almost nobody is playing....according to the doctor on Oprah the average male farts 14 times a day, and the average female......also farts 14 times a day.

Regardless of what people think, or wish to convey, according to this one guy, there is no difference between the sexes when it come to passing gas.

They both do it the same amount on average.

And Irene pm'd me that the "Gas We Pass" book stated the average was 15.

So there you have it folks. Think what you will about the subject, and how immature I may be for bringing it up. But know this. I know you do it. And I'd bet that when your sitting in a tub full of water and you make bubbles, what with the good sound and vibration of the porceline, that you too probably laugh to yourself and think how funny it really is as you watch the bubbles rise to the surface and pop. Not to mention how much better you feel after keeping it all pent up for so long.

Happy Friday.
 
I have heard that mice can't pass wind (trying to refine the language so as not to ....I stopped using that word,....but you know what I mean)

Some of the mouse baits, so I hear, kill the mice by causing gas which makes their stomaches explode. Has anybody heard this?

What animals can't pass wind? Can fish? Do fish make bubbles?
I know that fish poo, but do fish make water?

Do birds make water, or is there recycled waste all bundled into the lovely deposits they leave on my vehicles?

And what about burping? My dog burps. Do cats?
 
Motokid said:
Oprah had a doctor on the other day and they were talking potty habits and how it reflected your overall health.

Farting was part of the discussion.

On average, how many times a day do think the average person passes gas?

Who farts more often on average, men or women?

I don't know if this was the average American they were discussing, or the average person in general, but it was still funny. What's your guess, and if you heard about/or saw the show don't go blurting out the answer right away. I'd love to know what people think before they know what this doctor states as average. (I wonder how they came up with the number they got?)

Who doesn't like ripping off a good one at the appropriate time? Like right after your spouse gets into bed and you can yank the covers over their head and trap them in the dense, thick haze of pooooffff.... :D
Click to expand...
Shhh, don't tell everyone I like farting :eek:
 
Motokid said:
Do birds make water, or is there recycled waste all bundled into the lovely deposits they leave on my vehicles?

And what about burping? My dog burps. Do cats?
Click to expand...


I can answer these two. Birds mix both their liquid and solid waste into the one deposit - the white stuff is the former, and the black stuff (usually in the middle of the spot on your car) is the latter. Oh, and be sure to clean it off asap as it's very acidic (right word?) and can damage the paint work of your vehicle.

And cats do burp, although I've never heard mine make noise when he does. It's just this little jerk forward.

Did you know that rats can't throw up? I learnt this a little while ago.
 
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