Books you'd never let your kids read....

[Marge]

I wouldn't let a child read anything unsuitable for their particular age group, ie teenage angst stories for an under 10. Also any very strong language and explicit sexual content, or graphic violent content would be a no no.

 

[member 737]

I wouldn't let a child read anything unsuitable for their particular age group, ie teenage angst stories for an under 10. Also any very strong language and explicit sexual content, or graphic violent content would be a no no.

Finally, someone agrees with me. I started to think it would never happen.

 

[M&O]

I agree with that; and I don't think I'm a Nazi because I want to keep an eye on what my kids read.

 

[Ashlea]

I agree with that; and I don't think I'm a Nazi because I want to keep an eye on what my kids read.

Keeping an eye on it is excellent, forbidding something based on incomplete knowledge is what bothers me.

 

[member 737]

forbidding something based on incomplete knowledge is what bothers me.

What about forbidding something based on complete knowledge?

 

[Beatrycze]

And what is "incomplete knowledge"?

 

[M&O]

I wanted to stop in this morning to apologize for my last comment. Maybe my shoes were too tight or something-- no one has called me a Nazi, and I think I went overboard there.

By "incomplete knowledge," are you saying basing the decision on what people say, rather than having read the book yoursefl? I agree, to a point. I don't think I have to read a particular Stephen King book to know my 10-year old is too young to read it because I have read other books by him. However, I want to refer to a previous post further up this page where I said that my daughter wanted to read a book about a woman who had had an abortion, and I wasn't sure if I should let her. A review of the book criticized it for being "graphic"-- which made me lean toward being unwilling. I read/skimmed it myself looking for this alleged graphic description; I found what the comment referred to and it was not graphic at all. It was just a line that the fetus hadn't died immediately during the procedure. The book was a bit sappy for my taste, but not harmful. She read it and it was no big deal. If I had just gone on the word of a random amazon.com reviewer, though, it could have become a big deal by my refusing to let her read it-- a power struggle between us, or giving her the idea that I was "afraid" of the issue the book was about, etc.

 

[Ashlea]

By "incomplete knowledge," are you saying basing the decision on what people say, rather than having read the book yoursefl? I agree, to a point. I don't think I have to read a particular Stephen King book to know my 10-year old is too young to read it because I have read other books by him. However, I want to refer to a previous post further up this page where I said that my daughter wanted to read a book about a woman who had had an abortion, and I wasn't sure if I should let her. A review of the book criticized it for being "graphic"-- which made me lean toward being unwilling. I read/skimmed it myself looking for this alleged graphic description; I found what the comment referred to and it was not graphic at all. It was just a line that the fetus hadn't died immediately during the procedure. The book was a bit sappy for my taste, but not harmful. She read it and it was no big deal. If I had just gone on the word of a random amazon.com reviewer, though, it could have become a big deal by my refusing to let her read it-- a power struggle between us, or giving her the idea that I was "afraid" of the issue the book was about, etc.

This is exactly what I think should be happening, you were aware of what your daughter was reading, you had reservations, you investigated it rather than relying on someone else's opinion, and you made your decision. I would completely support your decision if you had decided it wasn't suitable as well. And the most important part, I'm sure you also were available to discuss what is a serious issue with her as she was reading it.

Even just looking it up on amazon is a big thing, although I think you were right in taking it a step further. Too many people would see "abortion" and ban it immediately, just based on that one word. That is what I mean by "incomplete knowledge."

Also, you are the most qualified person to determine what your child is prepared to read, not some other person who just says, "Oh that book is not suitable."

 

[bobbyburns]

Also, you are the most qualified person to determine what your child is prepared to read, not some other person who just says, "Oh that book is not suitable."

only if you live vicariously through your children and want them to be conditioned not to act violently or promiscuously. why not let them read it then talk to them and see what they think? I think most parents, including mine, have done a fairly good job of ruining our education.

 

[M&O]

parental censorship

only if you live vicariously through your children and want them to be conditioned not to act violently or promiscuously. why not let them read it then talk to them and see what they think? I think most parents, including mine, have done a fairly good job of ruining our education.

You are making some fairly provocative statements that you're not backing up. What does living vicariously through your children have to do with wanting them not to be violent or promiscuous? Are you saying it is a bad thing to want your children not to be violent or promiscuous? Your last statement about most parents ruining their children's education is so far out there and unsupported, that I'm not going to specifically address it any further than I have.

 

[bobbyburns]

in a few years your children will be the old people in their turn. they'll look back and say, "well, our parents raised us to not be violent and to not lust", but they won't have the tiniest understanding of what it means to be free from violence and unneccessary sexual desire. it'll just be wired into their brains, like a computer program. so for what it's worth, all parents have done is condition us to act and not act a certain way. we accept this because we are gullible, we don't enquire for ourselves. we're given morals which tell us what and what not to do, or simple solutions for problems we'll encounter later on in life. with this knowledge you'd think we'd be a peaceful species, but knowledge doesn't amount to anything with age because elderly people are dumber than all of us, and it doesn't take experience to know that killing someone is wrong. all it does is dull the mind, making it impossible to react to situations immediately. on the other hand, if we were taught to observe ouselves, which means to be aware of what we're feeling without calling it "right" or "wrong", we wouldn't be caught up in all this friction within the self which is the real cause of violence. but parents are too stupid to educate themselves, let alone us young people, so they project their conditioning onto us. hence, the conflict.

 

[faraday8]

my children will be able to read whatever they want, as long as i know what they are reading at all times

 

[Ou Be Low hoo]

Thse are the following books that I would never let my kids read, untill they were of sound mind and judgement:

The Bible - by Plato and a bunch of his buddies
Harry Potter - by JK Rowling aka Plagiarist of Tolkein/CS Lewis/etc/etc/etc...
Anything by Ben Elton - he's a dick
Anything by Clive Cussler - he's boring

Plus some other shiznit that I can't recollect at this hour...

 

[bobbyburns]

language, ou be.

 

[cajunmama]

I feel it is my duty as a parent to protect my kids from harmful/inappropriate things until such a time as they are able to make decisions/judgements for themselves, meanwhile teaching them to do so. Just as I don't let my children smoke, drink alcohol, get tattoos or play with guns, I don't let them read or view things that I feel may be harmful to them.
Who am I to make the decision that reading a book with graphic scenes of violence or sex is not something my child should be doing? I AM THEIR MOTHER, that's who! This is my job.
I also believe that knowledge is power. I am honest with my children and open to discussions of any kind. They are free to disagree but not to disobey, and there are consequences for disobedience. Still, the answer I give my preteen daughter to "where do babies come from" is not the same answer I give my five year old son. She needs to know the facts so she isn't scared or mis-informed by older kids at school, while he just wants to know that a big bird doesn't drop babies off at night.
Out and out forbidding of things usually backfires, so I avoid that as much as possible. I can't control everything my kids do, I don't want to, but I do have to teach them how to make wise choices. I know they will sneak a beer at a friends house, but that doesn't mean I have to let them drink it at mine. If I think a book may be inappropriate for one of my children to read, I will read it myself first then explain why or why not. If he/she sneaks it, then so be it. If they get caught, look out!

 

[Cathy C]

I do have to teach them how to make wise choices

I think it's terrific that you spend enough time with them to help them understand difficult concepts. I do hope that you also spend time with them watching movies. I find a frightful number of kids who actually BELIEVE that things they see in movies are REAL!

I remember sitting with a fourteen-year-old boy watching Lethal Weapon a few years back (after being toned down for television) and explaining to him that you CANNOT spray a full 50-round clip in an Uzi in a 10x10 room and not hit the hero. Nor can you fire that same clip for the next ten minutes. It is physically impossible. He was truly amazed and regaled his friends at school the next day with "how smart his mom's friend was".

Concepts like fantasy vs. physics are as important as graphic written plots and emotional entanglements.

JMHO!
Cathy

Penguins understand the physics of flight . . . and are disheartened!

 

[cajunmama]

Thanks Cathy. I do my best when it comes to my kids. Teaching my kids to make wise choices isn't easy, though. Sometimes it means watching them make an unwise choice and letting them suffer the consequences. We learn more from failure than we do from success. And I do watch tv with my kids. The girls wanted to watch the tv show "Angel". I watched it with them the first (and last) time. It was a bit too sexually explicit for them. In a few years, okay, but they are too young now.

 

[bobbyburns]

most parents compel their children to fit into a pattern so they can acquire a job and some self-satisfaction in society. it is the most unintelligent form of education there is, to merely stuff a child's head with information, while censoring a few things here and there. compare parents from communist countries who teach their children to make wise, informed choices, and you get a different result. but according to their society's framework, those parents did what was right. on both sides of the spectrum children are being conditioned. they grow up, start families of their own, and, as teachers, project their conditioning onto young people. it's what keeps our violent societies intact.

I'm single and have no children of my own, but I don't need that experience to see what is happening in the world.

 

[Freya]

I've not trusted my Mother since she revealed Father Christmas wasn't real. To this day, I don't believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

My school had a far bigger influence on me and my random ideologies than my parents did. (Maybe that's why I have such strong feelings about knee-high royal blue socks...)

 

[cajunmama]

it is the most unintelligent form of education there is, to merely stuff a child's head with information, while censoring a few things here and there

Everything we see, hear, feel, all the input into our brains is essentially information. The content of that input can be beneficial or harmful, or neither, and this effect depends on the context. Simply standing up there and lecturing is not what parenting is about. I am in my children's lives, I know who they are. I am involved. I am responsible for the mental and physical well-being of four people. The effect of a graphic scene of violence on a child of six is much different than one the age of 16. What is the difference? The teen has ten more years of life experience to know that this scene is made up, essential (or not) to the storyline. The younger child is more likely to be frightened or confused. As a parent, I must draw the line somewhere.
My job as a parent is to create a person that can be out in society, which is what the entire human race is, by the way. I will consider myself a success if my each of my children is not a junkie, convicted felon, or dead before me, whether or not these circumstances came about by this child's own choices. If one is a lawyer, the other a lawn mower mechanic, I don't care, as long as each can take responsibility for his/her own actions and make decisions for his/her own self. What is wrong with self-satisfaction in society? I surely don't want one of my kids to be a miserable outcast because he can't control his impulses. The most precious thing to me is my child's happiness in life. If one of my sons turns out to be a serial killer, jailed for the rest of his life because he cannot function in society, then I will lay the blame on myself primarily. There will have been something I did or didn't do that caused this.
Part of the problems in our world is the result of parents leaving kids to raise themselves, or trying to be their kids' friend. I am not my children's friend. A friend doesn't punish a friend for stealing candy from the corner grocery. A parent does. My children have lots of friends. They need me to be their parent. When my children are grown and don't need mommy to teach them right from wrong, then I will be their friend. Until then, I am more than happy to bear the title of Mean Mommy because I know where my kids are, who they are with, what they are doing and when they will be back, and I often tell my kids "No" and mean it.
When you have the awesome task of raising a child, I'm sure you will see a few things differently.

Ok, I'm stepping off my soapbox now...