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Ever broken up with someone over books?

Can't say that I've ever had this problem. I dated a number of girl who had varying interests in reading and politics. At the same time, ending the relationship had nothing to do with books.
 
My boyfriend now isnt a reader and he sent me a text message one day daying 'your going to be so proud of me! I baught a book!'
It was adorable. On the phonem, he's like 'I'm going to go and read' and im like 'YAY'
I wouldnt break up with him, though, if he didnt read...

Lani
 
I've not suffered this problem myself either, but I think I do see your logic...slightly. If a person doesn't read, then, (generally speaking now) they probably don't have a great interest in the Great things of the world. My brother, for example, can't seem to imagine wanting to know about things that aren't immediately useful or relevant. He doesn't read.

Obviously, there are intelligent people who don't read...although I think I'd be very hard-pressed to say there are any people in the world who've made significant contributions to society, that did not read. The whole culture of reading isn't just about the reading! Its also about being interested in interesting things, merely for their own sake! Its about enjoying learning and stories! People who don't want that in their lives...well?
 
SFG75 said:
Can't say that I've ever had this problem. I dated a number of girl who had varying interests in reading and politics. At the same time, ending the relationship had nothing to do with books.
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yes but what about your wife?
 
AngusBenton said:
yes but what about your wife?
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When we were in college, we both shared an intense Dean Koontz phase. If anything during this time, the only tension between us would be who would read a given book first. We also read Utne Reader magazine articles on our own and would then sit and talk about them. It sounds rather prosaic, but the deepness and length of the conversations that we had were just amazing. I remember many a night where we truly listened and that is a lost art these days. It's something that unless you've experienced, it's hard to understand. As a counselor, she works unbelievable hours while I'm a pampered teacher.:p Her books are mostly about new theories and models of helping troubled adolescents. So yes, she is an avid reader like myself. Heck, she even watched Sahara with me.:D
 
SFG75 said:
When we were in college, we both shared an intense Dean Koontz phase. If anything during this time, the only tension between us would be who would read a given book first. We also read Utne Reader magazine articles on our own and would then sit and talk about them. It sounds rather prosaic, but the deepness and length of the conversations that we had were just amazing. I remember many a night where we truly listened and that is a lost art these days. It's something that unless you've experienced, it's hard to understand. As a counselor, she works unbelievable hours while I'm a pampered teacher.:p Her books are mostly about new theories and models of helping troubled adolescents. So yes, she is an avid reader like myself. Heck, she even watched Sahara with me.:D
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And that was why in my toxic bachelor days I dropped that poor princeton girl...it does't require a mirror of all of your interests but connections of the intellect are a must for one to persist past the joy of a roll in the hay (or 20). She's no doubt moved on to better things and probably dates an investment banker who only reads the Wall Street Journal.
 
At the time I met my hub I had a boyfriend from Nebraska who thought I knew a lot about literature. He was studying comparative lit and thought I was way ahead of him. It drove me crazy, because I knew how much I didn't know.

When I met the hub he was in NYC on business from London, reading Burgess's The End of the World News, and he quoted Henry V, Pooh books, Dylan Thomas, and Yeats all over the place--and he's a computer programmer. That's what I love about Englishmen. They're not ashamed to be erudite. Even the regular, nonlovable ones can pull stuff like that out of the hat.
 
well hello.
honesty i never broken up over a book.
and if the guy that i was dating at the time didnt like to read books as much as i do i would try to work it out and not read as much as i do.
and try to get use to his life style before i just broke our whole relation off.

hope you reply your thoughts.
Katt
 
Never. My hubby now doesn't read unless it's about something practical, i.e. Lawn Care for Dummies, The Real Estate Investment Handbook, etc. I, on the other hand, read almost strictly fiction with some science thrown in for good measure. This does not make us in any way incompatible.
 
I think it would be silly to break up with someone just because they don't read. That would be like breaking up with someone because they didn't play soccer or watch tv. What about the person? Was their personality compatible? Did you enjoy being with them? Were they able to have a meaningful conversation or were they ditzy? These should be things you look for when figuring out whether a break-up is necessary, not whether you two share the same hobbies.
 
I've been dating for almost 10 years and live with my man for almost three. My boyfriends reads less than a book a year (he prefers magazines). That never was a problem, there are many other aspects of his personality that are fascinating. If I wann talk about books, I just talk with my parents or some friends. Not to mention these foruns.

Dharma
 
Reading can get in the way if one person likes to read for hours at a time and the other likes hiking. Something might seem wrong, but if you dig the person enough you'll likely adjust your lifestyle, as mentioned above. Or, you may not.
 
I simply don't have a boyfriend...sometimes I think my qualifications are too high, because I want someone who reads and is intelligent. It's not like I say no to people, but I just don't like anyone because I haven't really met anyone who actually reads books and is intelligent and all those wonderful things. Sometimes I wonder if i'm being silly, especially at my age.
 
AngusBenton said:
I was dating this very nice young lady. Not enough left of center for me to begin with. However, she was very pretty, she attended at top-tier school (Princeton) and, most importantly, thought I was fantastic.

After several weeks she confessed to me (I have books pouring out of every corner of my apartment) that she didn't really enjoy reading novels.

I said, "You don't...read?"

She said, "Oh...but I like magazines!"

I hoped at bare minimum Atlantic Monthly, New Yorker...but alas no.

She read Time Magazine every week. And then...InStyle, Cosmo and People.

I dropped her like a bad habit in a matter of 2 weeks. I just lost all interest.

Sad story, eh?
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A novel situation! Usually it's the woman who's offended by the man's choice in magazines,.... especially if they find them pouring out from every corner of the house!
 
novella said:
At the time I met my hub I had a boyfriend from Nebraska who thought I knew a lot about literature. He was studying comparative lit and thought I was way ahead of him. It drove me crazy, because I knew how much I didn't know.

When I met the hub he was in NYC on business from London, reading Burgess's The End of the World News, and he quoted Henry V, Pooh books, Dylan Thomas, and Yeats all over the place--and he's a computer programmer. That's what I love about Englishmen. They're not ashamed to be erudite. Even the regular, nonlovable ones can pull stuff like that out of the hat.
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so tell me,......and be honest......... what are you're thoughts on gene pacman?

hey what's erudite? and if I have to ask, will I ever know?
 
Nope, it sounds a bit silly! :eek: My husband doesn't read at all, and that doesn't bother me in the slightest.
 
Hi AngusBenton

No, I haven't, but I've brushed off space cadets who don't read anything more challenging than Cosmo (which was painful given that some of them were very hot-looking). My ideal woman is one who is obsessed with reading and the acquisition of books, and I don't mean Dan Brown novels either. She should also like good music (ownership of a Spice Girls CD would result in automatic disqualification). Frankly, I don't really care what she looks like (well, OK, as long as she isn't the World Donut Eating Champion), just so long as she reads......

So why is it so hard to find such a woman? Do they actually exist? If so, where the hell are they? It would be so much easier if I could get a mail-order bride who likes to read a lot, but I've never seen "likes to read a lot" on mail-order bride criteria.

The Doogster
 
AngusBenton said:
Yes, but it is my singular addiction (outside of Scotch). Also, in the states (at least) there is a huge anti-intellectual current among otherwise smart people that I am keen to avoid.
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Hi again

I've noticed this when chatting with Americans on other forums. Some, but not by any means many, Americans seem almost proud of being ignorant. It's like they equate it to being patriotic or something. If you're intelligent you might as well tattoo the word "Traitor" on your forehead....

Just my two cents.

The Doogster
 
I would've lost interest. I have no clue if the first guy I dated read but he just was....too far below me in knowledge and not willing (or maybe able) to catch up...and I got bored. Fast.

I'm a woman by the way and I care a lot about intellect. Intellect and kindness are the first two things I look for in a partner. I do read magazines...Physics Today. National Geographic on the rare occasions I get stuck in a waiting room without a book (it doesn't happen very often, I usually have at least two in tow).
 
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