Internet words hurt

[cajunmama]

Blueboat has the right idea. Just the threat of a lawsuit may make her remove your name.

 

[Stewart]

Of course, you could truly be crap and then she's justified and there will be no lawsuit.

 

[RainbowGurl]

They don't need an au pair, they need SUPER NANNY!

I love watching that programme!

 

[RainbowGurl]

Of course, you could truly be crap and then she's justified and there will be no lawsuit.

I didn't hear any famalies I babysat for in the past complain that I was crap.

 

[SFG75]

It seems quite obvious that what the woman said was/is true. You quit the job because you weren't interested in looking after a kid who was a little difficult. What kind of commitment is that? Pff...

Job fulfillment shouldn't be based on the ease with which it can be completed. Look at me, I work at McDonalds...

OMG!!. If the position hasn't been filled for over a year, then obviously Rainbow's contention has a good degree of accuracy itself. Commitment??.....no one should have to put up with that crap, especially from a three year old. It's painfully obvious that the parents are permissive and that they are over-protective of their child. They struck out at Rainbow out of defensiveness out of the knowledge that deep down-they know their kid is a royal pain and that they are responsible for it.

Sheeesh!-don't be too encouraging here.

 

[Irene Wilde]

Here I go, about to stir up trouble again...but here's a Mom's perspective.

Raising kids is tough. It's the hardest job there is, and the most rewarding. Many people see little kids and think to themselves "awww, how cute!" and think what a great and easy job taking care of kids would be. It isn't. A mother who brings in an au pair expects that person to be able to handle children. Three-year-olds can be bratty. It isn't that they are spoiled, have ADHD, or anything else. It's part of their normal childhood development to be bratty, have temper tantrums, and act out. They get over it with time, patience, and consistency. In families of multiple children, there are sibling rivalries to contend with, treating all the children fairly, while understanding that their different ages call for different ways of interacting with them. Did you not know she had three children and the ages of those children? Did you not ask her about her discipline guidelines and philosophy before you agreed to work for her?

Also, if the website is set up for the express purpose of hiring au pairs, and clients are invited to "review" the performance of au pairs from that site, then this woman gave her honest opinion. It sounds like she gave it in a deliberately cruel manner, but she may think she is being helpful to other parents out there. Understand that a parent, any parent, bringing someone in to look after their children -- the greatest treasures in their lives -- is apt to be hypercritical of the person they bring in. They will look for flaws. They will be suspicious. There are parents who hide video cameras in their house to observe their au pairs, nannies, babysitters, etc. No parent wants to find out they misjudged the person brought in to take for their child after it's too late.

I would call what you've gone through a "learning experience." Learn from it. Ask more questions before you take on another assignment. Understand that taking care of pre-school aged children can be as exhausting and trying as it is fulfilling. Know that no parent is perfect, some are worse than others, and some probably shouldn't have had kids to begin with.

"Learning experiences" can be hard and they hurt, but they can be invaluable.

 

[ruby]

My thoughts on bringing in a "Nanny" is you choose to bring kids into the world you should look after them yourself! I brought my daughters up myself and yes it was hard and i also worked while my kids were at school. Sorry but i have proberly just opened a can of worms! Lets hear what everyone thinks ?

 

[Irene Wilde]

My thoughts on bringing in a "Nanny" is you choose to bring kids into the world you should look after them yourself! I brought my daughters up myself and yes it was hard and i also worked while my kids were at school. Sorry but i have proberly just opened a can of worms! Lets hear what everyone thinks ?

In my perfect world, yes, parents would be looking after their own kids full-time, but that isn't always possible, and even if you start out with that plan, circumstances can change (for instance, my mother died when I was four and my father had to work to support us and couldn't be home with us full time), and then outside assistance is needed. Many parents believe that by working outside the home they are providing opportunities their children wouldn't otherwise have, and are very comfortable bringing in another party as a caregiver, be it a relative, a neighbor, or a professional. Many children have grown up in homes like that to be perfectly well-rounded, functioning, capable adults, so obviously, that theory is sound, too.

 

[novella]

My thoughts on bringing in a "Nanny" is you choose to bring kids into the world you should look after them yourself! I brought my daughters up myself and yes it was hard and i also worked while my kids were at school. Sorry but i have proberly just opened a can of worms! Lets hear what everyone thinks ?

I think this point of view is completely unrealistic and morally preposterous. Almost everyone needs help at some point in their lives. In previous generations (and in many cultures) the grandparents and some aunts and uncles were usually within spitting distance to help with families, sewing, babysitting, helping out financially if possible, all kinds of stuff. A lot of families don't have that option these days--even grandparents may still be working full time, and families are more and more spread out. It's only normal that the gap has to be filled with someone from outside the family, especially when two parents work and there are a few kids who need supervision.

 

[ruby]

Thanks for your views ladys,this subject all ways brings up a very heated debate in my family and i value your views! I had a great boss so i was able to fit holidays etc round my girls.I could not have lived on state benefits and there dad only gave me £25 a week,so thats why i worked!

 

[Breaca]

These employers may have had unreasonable expectations. I believe Au pairs are generally students looking for a summer job or young people looking for the 'overseas' experience. Perhaps what this family needs is a qualified Nanny. But then they'd probably have to pay a whole lot more and wouldn't have someone on-call 24 hours a day.

 

[Robert]

Thanks for your views ladys,this subject all ways brings up a very heated debate in my family and i value your views! I had a great boss so i was able to fit holidays etc round my girls.I could not have lived on state benefits and there dad only gave me £25 a week,so thats why i worked!

Oh, single Mom. Talk about a though job.

 

[Robert]

I don't believe everyone knows how difficult children can be, RainbowGurl. I was gone for a good part of the time when my own children were young, and I often wonder how my wife managed not to lose her mind when I wasn't there for her and the kids. It's easier said then done, but try to not let it bother you.

 

[novella]

I don't believe everyone knows how difficult children can be, RainbowGurl. I was gone for a good part of the time when my own children were young, and I often wonder how my wife managed not to lose her mind when I wasn't there for her and the kids. It's easier said then done, but try to not let it bother you.

Oh sad sad. She was a pretend mom for like a minute. Robert, I think you're falling for the charms of RainbowGurl, that special mystery person who really likes to flirt. That is SO cute.

 

[Ya Krunk'd Floo]

OMG!!. If the position hasn't been filled for over a year, then obviously Rainbow's contention has a good degree of accuracy itself. Commitment??.....no one should have to put up with that crap, especially from a three year old. It's painfully obvious that the parents are permissive and that they are over-protective of their child. They struck out at Rainbow out of defensiveness out of the knowledge that deep down-they know their kid is a royal pain and that they are responsible for it.

Or maybe it says something about the nature of au pairs in general...

 

[novella]

Or maybe it says something about the nature of au pairs in general...

That's a good point. What sane person would invite some indentured slave from another country into her house to take care of her only children? And what kind of person would take that job?

Every au pair I know of had a sexual affair with either the hub of the house or someone in the nabe.

 

[Ya Krunk'd Floo]

If you can manage to glorify a baby-sitter, then what you end up with is an. Oh-dear! I dropped the baby.

 

[sirmyk]

Once in the hottub there was an au threesome.

Seriously, this is the first time I have ever heard the term au pair. Is this some kind of slave labor help?

 

[novella]

YKF--How much do you charge? You seem like a nice young fellow. Clean cut, good with words, a nice manner when speaking to adults. I have a good idea. I'll be in CHARGE.

 

[Ya Krunk'd Floo]

I charge the light-brigade and I recompense anything to do with Mel Gibson's chest whores.