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Internet words hurt

RG, sounds like a shitty situation. Seems like lots of people don't want to discipline their kids these days. My cousin wants to be the "cool mom" so everything is posed as a question "How about if you didn't hit the kitty Andrew? OK?" and there are no punishments. She wonders why nobody in our family likes her kids. When I have kids I'm going to get one of those doggie zap collars with the remote controls. ;)

sirmyk said:
Seriously, this is the first time I have ever heard the term au pair. Is this some kind of slave labor help?
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I think it's the fancy word for Nanny. Sometimes they care for the kids while the parents work and sometimes the parents are home. I think there can be housework involved and it's often a live-in situation.
 
mehastings said:
I think it's the fancy word for Nanny. Sometimes they care for the kids while the parents work and sometimes the parents are home. I think there can be housework involved and it's often a live-in situation.
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So where does parenting fit in with all of this?
 
RainbowGurl said:
I didn't hear any famalies I babysat for in the past complain that I was crap.
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Personally I would have thought that babysitting for a few hours was completely different to living with a family and being the main carer for several children for an extended period of time. Maybe the woman needed someone with more experience but was unwilling to pay for a full time Nanny?

However if this is truly what you want to do then don't let her comments put you off, but learn from the experience. I think you would be very fortunate to get a family where all the children were angelic :)
 
Ice said:
Personally I would have thought that babysitting for a few hours was completely different to living with a family and being the main carer for several children for an extended period of time.
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Nail on the head, right there! From what I've read it seems there's been a bit of confusion, on Rainbow's behalf, on the difference between babysitting and nannying. I may, however, be wrong but I do get the impression that she is naive in certain areas.

My German friend went to au pair in New Zealand and she says she soon began to wise up to the reality of it after the first few weeks. Although she had travelled halfway across the world with the hope of seeing New Zealand she had to come to terms with the fact that sightseeing was not the reason why she was there. She was there to look after children from dawn to dusk; sightseeing, a rare occurence, was only a bonus.

Rainbow, did you go to see Canada or did you go to look after children? Think hard on this one.
 
I'm sure the term " our au pair" was used a lot more in the seventies and early eighties by middle class families just to let you know how better off than you they were.
I can't say I've noticed it used quite so much these days; though maybe it's just me.
 
Rainbowgirl,
I have been an Au Pair many years ago. If the lady is writting this about you on an Au Pair Agent site, then I would call the agent. Call them or write them an email and ask them if you can give them your side of the story. If they are a serious agency, they would want to hear what you have to say. And like someone told you, you have learned from this experience to ask more questions in a job interview. If the agency react negative and dont want to hear your side of the story, then remember there are other agencies!

For you who wonder about Au Pairs, well I went to England when I was young. I choose England as I had friends there and because I wanted to learn the language. As an Au Pair you get to live with a family and you have to take care of the kids, do simple housework. You get a little pay, but not much as you live and eat there for free. Au Pairs are usually young people with no special child education.

Flower
 
novella said:
Oh sad sad. She was a pretend mom for like a minute. Robert, I think you're falling for the charms of RainbowGurl, that special mystery person who really likes to flirt. That is SO cute.
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I hate it when that happens.

*makes note to self to stop being a nice guy*
 
Ronny said:
I like you as a nice guy, please stay that way. We have so few these days.
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Do you know how difficult it is to say no to you, Ronny? I just can't do it.
 
Sounds like a crappy experience, RG. I agree with Flowerdk4, though. Although I'm not familiar with this business personally, I would imagine that the agency should feel a certain responsibility to both their clients and the personal they locate. I would also drop a line to the woman in question and politely state that you feel her comments are unfair and do not represent the true difficulties of looking after her kids.

I actually just finished reading 'The Nanny Diaries' (was in a chick-lit mode) this morning, so your post is kind of spooky.
 
Kook, what did you think of The Nanny Diaries? I read it a few months ago and think I posted something somewhere.
 
novella said:
Kook, what did you think of The Nanny Diaries? I read it a few months ago and think I posted something somewhere.
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Great escapist chick lit - see here. I don't want to clutter up RG's thread.
 
Rainbow, I haven't been around for a couple of days so missed out on the start of this thread, just wanted to say to you that I really understand how bad you feel. To read something about yourself like this without recourse to defending yourself can make you feel so powerless and angry.

If you go about trying to put this right for yourself ( ie contacting the person involved) you are in danger of feeding your own anger, do you really want to waste that energy on the past?

Regain your power by just being bigger than this woman and leaving the past where it belongs, if she can't move on from it and has nothing better to do, that's her problem. You can be better than that. Move forward with your life and let this go.

Best wishes........ :) :)
 
Wow, this job sounds like a modern day form of oppressive indentured servitude. :( Hope that you find better things in the future Rainbow.
 
francesca said:
If you go about trying to put this right for yourself ( ie contacting the person involved) you are in danger of feeding your own anger, do you really want to waste that energy on the past?

Regain your power by just being bigger than this woman and leaving the past where it belongs, if she can't move on from it and has nothing better to do, that's her problem. You can be better than that. Move forward with your life and let this go.
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Very good advice, and some I wish I'd had years ago when I dealt with a few crappy situations in my life.

However, if what is written is going to affect your professional future, Rainbow, I would try to at least contact the agency and work things out. Conduct yourself with professionalism.

On the other hand, if your life as an au pair is over, maybe it's better to just shrug it off as a lesson to learn from and move on.
 
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