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Need book suggestions for a sister...

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DefStatic

New Member
I am doing a book theme this Christmas. But I have a sister who is 22 who I am having a hard time buying a book for. I don't just want to get her a book to read, I want to get her a book that will help her find herself, and maybe give her some influence and direction on how to get her life back together.

Any ideas are welcome.
 
Stewart said:
In which way has she let her life wander?
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Ummmmm, how do I put it without sounding harsh?

Everyway. Now, with that said, it could be a lot worse for her. Bad relationship, bad financial status, no career future, and seems to just be lost right now.
 
I like Honey For a Woman's Heart by Gladys Hunt..It is all about the value of reading for personal pleasure and growth. Written from a Christian perspective, it doesn't just suggest Christian literature, which I find refreshing. Your sister might enjoy the encouragement as well as the freedom and inspiration to choose what she needs to read.
 
The problem with a lot of books in the self-help/inspiration genre is they rely on God. Fair enough, many people find help and inspiration through religion. But for those that who are not religious but looking for hope are left out. Maybe it's the religious telling us for the umpteenth time if you don't believe you'll go to hell. ;) If you're not interested in the religious vein getting a book that bases growth on religion becomes preachy and will not be read. At around the same age, and same I was given a book called Fire in the Belly by Sam Keen. It's about being a modern man. And, for the most part it was interesting, except in the end faith in god was my path to being a man according to Sam. My faith in Sam's advice fell.

Are you looking for a book where a lead female character goes through hell, a figurative one, then triumphs and lives happily ever after? Are you looking for a book which helps her find her faith? Based on the information you're given the only thing I can suggest is to look into the Chicken Soup for the Soul series.
 
ions said:
The problem with a lot of books in the self-help/inspiration genre is they rely on God. Fair enough, many people find help and inspiration through religion. But for those that who are not religious but looking for hope are left out. Maybe it's the religious telling us for the umpteenth time if you don't believe you'll go to hell. ;) If you're not interested in the religious vein getting a book that bases growth on religion becomes preachy and will not be read. At around the same age, and same I was given a book called Fire in the Belly by Sam Keen. It's about being a modern man. And, for the most part it was interesting, except in the end faith in god was my path to being a man according to Sam. My faith in Sam's advice fell.

Are you looking for a book where a lead female character goes through hell, a figurative one, then triumphs and lives happily ever after? Are you looking for a book which helps her find her faith? Based on the information you're given the only thing I can suggest is to look into the Chicken Soup for the Soul series.
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I appreciate your concerns ions.. the main reason I reccomend Honey For a Woman's Heart, even to non religious women is because of the author's even keeled handling of her Christian faith and her advocacy for works not written from that worldview. The overall thrust of the book is to encourage women to read widely and to allow the story to minister in the unique way that stories have. You are very right to point out that choosing a self help book is a difficult and tricky business and one needs to be mindful of the receipient's deeper need. With the variables DefStatic has given, something light and encouraging is probably best.
 
In hindsight I realized my post may have come across as a challenge to your recommendation and that was not at all my intention.
 
ions said:
In hindsight I realized my post may have come across as a challenge to your recommendation and that was not at all my intention.
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I didn't see it as a challenge at all:) But I think you were right to point out the dangers of offering an overly religious-toned self help book to just anyone. I'm remembering my mil's penchant for giving her grown daughter and grandkids Bibles in hopes of changing their obviously whacked behavior. Now I'm a firm believer in giving Bibles to people! You betcha..but not if it's the same as whacking the poor receipient on the head. That's not true gift giving and might be construed as a unique form of taking God's name in vain.
 
DefStatic said:
Ummmmm, how do I put it without sounding harsh?

Everyway. Now, with that said, it could be a lot worse for her. Bad relationship, bad financial status, no career future, and seems to just be lost right now.
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FEAR OF FLYING! Erica Jong...... please at least give it a try for yourself. It's a great read.
 
If the books are in my price range, I could get her a couple books.

And they don't neccesarily have to be self-help books, but would like to have at least one. Even if it is just stories, true or not, of women finding themselves and making better choices for a better life. Know what I mean?

Like I said, its not like she is in the depths of despair, but she really needs to find herself, and in the process, confront any demons (she was adopted by my family when she was 8) she may have. She doesn't want anyone telling her how to live her life, so I figured a good book or two would be my way of helping her.

Hope this all makes sense.
 
You think she is even in the state of mind where she's going to read a book? Nevermind actually learn from it? You should be sure of this before you waste your money and frustrate her with a white elephant.
 
ions said:
You think she is even in the state of mind where she's going to read a book? Nevermind actually learn from it? You should be sure of this before you waste your money and frustrate her with a white elephant.
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She likes to read books. Just figured I would get her something that might help her as well, besides something that is just a good read.
 
See, thats the other problem. It's not that hse has shut everyone out or anything, but no one really knows her at the same time. I have recently been communicating more with her to try to get to know her better, for I feel it sad that I hardly know my own sister to say "I want to get her something for Christmas, what would she like" and be able to answer this question like I can my other siblings or people I know. Know what I mean?
 
DefStatic said:
See, thats the other problem. It's not that hse has shut everyone out or anything, but no one really knows her at the same time. I have recently been communicating more with her to try to get to know her better, for I feel it sad that I hardly know my own sister to say "I want to get her something for Christmas, what would she like" and be able to answer this question like I can my other siblings or people I know. Know what I mean?
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I'm curious.....being her sister, why is it NOW that you've become so interested in getting to know your sister? What are your ages if you don't mind, or the age difference between the two of you that now at Christmas you want to find out who she is? Maybe this is her problem. She has no family. Adopted or not, you obviously haven't tried to make her feel as part of the family. Trying to figure out what her likes and dislikes are over the net in a book/reading forum might not be the best place to get to know your sister. Maybe you should ask her?
 
Wayne W. Dyer books do the trick (for some).

dyer.jpg


The Sky is the Limit is my fav of his books. It's kinda old but it's worth the read.
 
jennifer1975 said:
I'm curious.....being her sister, why is it NOW that you've become so interested in getting to know your sister? What are your ages if you don't mind, or the age difference between the two of you that now at Christmas you want to find out who she is? Maybe this is her problem. She has no family. Adopted or not, you obviously haven't tried to make her feel as part of the family. Trying to figure out what her likes and dislikes are over the net in a book/reading forum might not be the best place to get to know your sister. Maybe you should ask her?
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Well, while this may be true, I suppose a little explination is in order.

First off, I am her brother.

Second, she (and my brother, they are biological) lives with my mother and step dad. They adopted her because after me, my mother was unable to have children ever again. I live with my fatehr and step mom, 2 states away.

Third, I am not trying to figure out her likes and dislikes. I am not so far withdrawn from her that I could not simply ask her. In High School, she was pretty much your typical teen. I am 25 now, she is 22. Granted, maybe in some ways we should be closer, but when I would come home and go party with my friends I have where my family there lives, A - she had her own things going on and B - She technically shouldn't go to parties where there could be drugs or alcohol, and being her brother, I would want to be watching her.

Forth, honestly, no one really knows her. What she wants to do with her life, what goals and aspirations she has, etc etc etc. What I do know is that even she doesn't really know herself. Infact, thats what anyone and everyone will say about her, that she needs to find herself. So I thought maybe instead of just getting her a book she would enjoy, I would get her a book she would enjoy and maybe help her find herself or inspire her in some way. Now, unlike some people, I am actually taking some responsibility for this fact as well, and am taking measures to rectify the situation.

To sum that up, sure, I COULD ask her what book she would want, but it would probably be just another book that is a good read, not neccisarily a book that might actually help her as well. I hope I don't come across angry, just thought I would explain a bit better.
 
So she's getting older and wondering what to do in life and you want to get a book that answers those questions? When you find it let me know.
 
Hi Def and all,

I'm wondering if perhaps you could just give her a book that validates her love of reading and doesn't carry with it any hint of selfhelp or any implication that she's needing it. That age is a really difficult time for many girls/women, because they are still mostly girls being faced with choices and long term consequences that propel them into womanhood. The lucky ones are directed, focused, motivated, and energetically going about all those developmental tasks that we need to achieve. Others take a while, sometimes a long while, to mature. How bout finding out what she likes to read and buying her something similar, whether it's fiction, humor, classics, etc. By reflecting what she likes, you really come in as the shining hero it sounds like you are!
 
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