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The Home Site "Warning Graphic" feed back please

D

Dander2194@aol.

New Member
The Home Site

Written by
Dominic Davey
Edited by
Liz Lover



Please provide feedback if you are left wanting to know more? or is it uninteresting?



Chapter 0ne:

An Angel and a Rose
Two names that fit so well
One will be in heaven
The other was his hell

Hey you!! Little boy, you can be Mayor too, just believe in yourself and you can be anything you want” Dominic is riding downtown in a white mustang convertible sitting on the back canvas waving his hand. Next to him, his wife and daughter, all smiles. They looked like the “perfect American family“. Dominic reached into his bag and threw out a handful of tootsie rolls to the children as they scrambled to get the most. One boy running past a girl half his age to beat her to the prize. He turns and gives her a grin as opens the candy and places it in his mouth. On the side of the car read “re-elect Mayor Davey” It is the Forth of July and Dominic is the Mayor of Tonka, located on Lake Minnetonka Minnesota.

Minnesota is often mistaken as a cold barren land. If they only could be here in Tonka. It is a place of paradise in the summer months. The lush trees, green grasses and rolling landscape, make it one of the most beautiful places in the world this time of year. A mid summer day is a cut of heaven, as the land of 10,000 lakes fills up with boaters and jet skiers to fisherman seeking the latest potential hotspots and swimmers young and old laying out on blow up rafts. Tonka especially, the richest city in all of Minnesota where money is no object. The city was booming as the tax base from the multi million dollar homes made it the who's who of the northern state. The Dayton's founders of Target, Prince and CEO's from some of the worlds largest companies display their wealth. Where the people from the top of the skyscrapers lived. Ostentatious would be an understatement as having a Yacht under 30 feet would be embarrassing. Dominic had worked hard to get to this point spending the last decade building a career as an underling to some of the most prominent people in state government. The network of people he knew where more then just local celebrities, they where national players and a “who’s who” of business and politics.

Dominic came from an upper-middle class family and learned early on that accomplishments are best brought forth by respect which was earned, rather than the money that was made. This philosophy he carried came about through observations from his association with families spoiled by the riches handed them. True wealth is what you are, not what you have he reasoned.

As the evening approached, Dominic prepared for the festivals to begin shortly. The annual Fourth of July cocktail party was a bash. The summer day had the brightest blue ski above with the sun setting across the bay. Friends and family of the Davey’s showed up in droves. The house was too small to accommodate the more then 100 people that attended. The children laughed and played on the beach as the parents drank to intoxication. It was fun to see everyone let their guards down. Around the patio people shuffled in to listen to Dominic talk of the city’s future plans. He had achieved the admiration of colleagues and friends. It was obvious his identity was wrapped up in his endeavors. As the evening fire works shot off, they all gather in the front yard for the spectacular event. Alexandra sitting atop Dominic’s shoulders to see over the crowd. This was one of the greatest evenings, he was enjoying life more then he ever dreamed was possible.

The next morning, Dominic is asleep on the bed, with a leg hanging out of the covers to keep him cool, the fan was blowing softly over him with his hands folded across his stomach. When he awakes the sun is just breaking over the tree line causing golden specks reflecting beams from across the lake. He looks over to his wife sleeping next to him. The house was quiet with the exception of the TV playing softly in the back ground, Dominic needed it turned on to fall asleep at night, it helped him to distract all of the thoughts of work and life running through his mind.

In the mornings, Dominic, wanting to make love to his wife gently starts kissing Rose’s neck, waiting breathlessly to see if she would respond. Her tender moans let him know his advance was being accepted. His arm rubbing up and down her leg he tensely looks into her eyes as he moves his hand up and touches lightly across her chest. He is getting more excited and knows that Rose needs to be warmed up. As he begins to kiss her ears, he whispers to her, “you are so sweet honey“ and then says “honey I love you so much.” Her lips begin to swell and he feels her body starting to embrace his as he slowly moves his hand back down between her legs, his tender touch senses the moisture of her inner sides. She arches her back and he begins to lightly kiss her breasts. Dominic caresses her hair and slowly slides his body on top of hers. For the first time in a month she allows him to enter her. Dominic, moves slowly and gently. Just as he begins to relax and enjoy the moment, she says, “Stop. It hurts again.”

Once again frustrated, he rolls out of bed and enters the shower. Dominic wishes Rose would finish what they alone were to share. He picks up a towel and wipes the steam from the mirror. He gazes deep into the image of himself, saddened at the disappointment looking back at him He wonders why he is not happier at home and he asks himself out loud, “what have I done?” All the iniquity that is tormenting his world seemed to him to be concentrated in a "red flower," by the name of Rose.
 
Just let me know.

I will share chapter by chapter to those wanting more. Your feed back is greatly appreciated and I would be happy to share the entire Novel with you.
 
continued

Dominic, is tall dark and handsome, with deep blue eyes and a charisma given to a rare few. He is an impeccable dresser from head to toe. Today he is wearing a tailored suit, a pin striped shirt, with silver monogrammed cufflinks and polished black shoes. He is dressed to kill. He hops into his Mercedes to head to the office. The car a 500C convertible had been his dream car since he was a little boy. It is a beautiful July day. The drive to the office was a tranquil experience down wooded rolling country hills.

Today was important. He arrived early to work as he was hoping for the big news, a call from the governor. As he entered City hall, Rodney the city planner approached, “Hey Dominic can you take a look at the revisions to the city plans for the down town revival project?” Dominic replies, “Sure.” “We are feeling pressure to spend down to meet the state requirements for holding excess funds. I think it would be wise if we do the re-facing of the buildings with the business owners. It would be a good way to reinvest the funds back into the community.” Dominic replies again, “Sure Rod, I’ll take a look at it.” Dominic first recommended the idea to Rod and he was anxious to see how the revisions he suggested would work into the budget. He already knew it was the right thing. Dominic never took long to make a decision. He had the gift of being discerning and it served him well in making political and business decisions. The day drew to a close and the call he was hoping for never came.

Behind the closed doors on Secor Lane the mood swings were volatile, from happy to sad. Rose would cry for no reason and sleep away most days. Dominic first noticed Rose’s bouts with depression after the wedding invitations were mailed. At first he thought that it was him or perhaps “wedding jitters’, but he soon came to realize that this was just another part of the twisted web he had married. The realization of the bond of motherhood could not have been more prevalent in his life. Rose was his dream, nightmare and reality all at the same time.


Rose, was 7 years his junior and had lead a sheltered life to date. She lived with her mother until she was in her late 20's and then she moved in with Dominic. The relationship between she and her mother clearly showed a woman with strings tied to a puppet, an obstacle of complication in his marriage, being Dominic’s mother-n-law, Carlene. She had wanted this marriage more then Rose. Carlene would regularly write emails to Dominic asking him when he was going to propose to her daughter. At the wedding Carlene was center stage, wearing bright colors she made a point to be heard and seen by all. A casual observer would recognize, the wedding, the need for attention, it was about her own egocentric ways.

Divorce is hard and it was no exception for Carlene. Now more then 20 years later she still harbors bitterness over the affair by her ex. Carlene, over the years had steadily put on weight as she would snack constantly. The fair skin of her body was capped off with short red hair. She had an obsessive personality type. Her behavior was odd, in one week, she would watch the same movie eight times. The next week was spent telling you how she was going to be on Dateline to discuss sudden infant death syndrome. Even though it had been nearly thirty years since the death of Brian, her first born, her daily conversations still discussed the boy, and what he would have been.

Rose was a contrast of her mother, sweet and beautiful. She was 5‘7 with a slim waist and long flowing red hair. She had perfect C-cup breasts and was a trophy wife in every sense of the word. To the world the most prevalent attribute to Rose was her sweetness, built on her naivety. Few knew her inner dark side which was filled with spite when she did not get her way, and even more daunting, was her battle with depression, which consumed her from within. When Dominic first met Rose, she was a receptionist for Weinberg, Stiechen, and Okeson, the most prominent law firm in Minneapolis. Their courtship was short and very passionate. Dominic wonders now if what he felt in the beginning was lust or love. Dominic had much pressure to get married. He had recently turned thirty one, and felt the continuing forces pulling on him, partly from Carlene and partly from himself. His rising status suggested the need for a wife to advance his political ambitions. Rose fit the part.

The normalization process of the relationship between Rose and Dominic involved much more then he had anticipated. The life that Rose lead was one that was not her own. She had been raised by a mother who had ‘lost her own identity” in her childhood, she became obsessed with Rose following Brian‘s death and her divorce. To her Rose was all she had left. For the next 20 years, Carlene tried to reclaim her sole and Rose would eventually pay the price. The shame and guilt in Carlene’s closet would consume Rose as the cycle of emotional anguish transferred from one generation to the next.


Dominic was a successful provider, which afforded Rose the luxury of not having to work. She would spend her waking hours with their daughter Alexandra, who was now four years old and the spitting image of her mother. Dominic knew from the first moment he laid eyes on Rose, their children would be beautiful, but he had no way to protect Alexandra from the very person from which she was born. The bond between Rose and Alexandra had grown and in Rose’s world Alexandra was her best friend. Rose‘s life was that of a four year old. Reckless, carefree and without any thoughts to that of grown woman, or more importantly, a wife. To the public, Rose was a perfect, loving woman, and caring mother, but at home, Dominic was shut out of the relationship with Alexandra. His home life run from a 20 minute drive away as Carlene would spend most of her time at their house. Leaving as Dominic would arrive home. The effects were obvious, as each day, Rose did things at an unconscious level to interfere with the relationship between father and daughter. Never allowing them to be alone even for a minute, it would be a long time before he realized just why things where this way.

As Dominic entered the home he passed Carlene at the door way, leaving, he made a polite hello. Ginger, the family dog pops her head up in interest. She was part Lasa opsa and part Shitzoo. She greats him with a bark as he enters through the door, tail wagging, looking for attention. Dominic reaches down and pets her on the head. Ginger turned and ran to grab a toy and turned around and ducked her head with her tail in the air wagging. “Dad, stop teasing her” Alexandra looks back at him from the living room. Dominic replies “well how’s the greatest girl in the world doing today” Alexandra giggles, “fine dad”

The Davey family lived in a modest house, except for the fact that it was on the lake. As he looked around the room he smiled at his surroundings, it was his dream, the ambiance of the water relaxed him. He liked the modest setting with its lighting set to capture the colors of the lakes’ expression. The windows were wide, and he especially adored the bay window which drew in the light reflecting off the water. The home was decorated in a tasteful manner that would welcome a room of guests, but still showed a sense of family. In the living room sat an oversized chaise lounge with a coordinating chair atop of a cinnamon-colored rug. Most of the things in the home were along the earthen tones. Browns, beiges, and flecks of gold, which have always been soothing colors to the eye.

A few hours later it is dusk and the phone rings. Dominic is in his Den and picks up the receiver. It’s Rod, he was more then just the City Planner, he was also Dominic’s best friend. He was short with curly black hair, of average weight, not especially good looking, but he had a flair with women. They where especially attracted to his money. Rod, did not care the reason, he just like the attention of a beautiful woman. The one attribute that Rod did have, which Dominic envied, was that he was a genius, and a perverted one at that. While Rod was married he had regular affairs, which for him came naturally as he was a master of manipulation and getting what he wanted. In many ways they shared the same outlook on life and both had high ambitions. There motivations different, but the objectives the same. Unlike Dominic, Rod carried with him the quality of arrogance.

Sometime ago, Rod made the decision to leave the private sector to follow Dominic into the political arena. Rod made sure he attended as many functions with Dominic as possible, as meeting the people with power and influence was key. Genius IQ’s plot to achieve their objectives, and Rod was no exception. His witty ways amused Dominic and he enjoyed the added excitement that he brought to his life. Dominic knew his best friend well enough to know that deep inside, Rod wanted to overtake him some day. Rod had just gotten a divorce and was now occupying much of Dominic’s time, causing a polar effect on Dominic’s life, between balancing time with his best friend, the role required in his family, to the demands of being Mayor. Dominic is sensitive and strives to please. The anxieties where high to meet everyone‘s demands.
 
continued

As he arrived to Rods‘, he admired the beauty of the surroundings. Dominic a little jealous as Rod is free of the constraints of family to take advantage of all of the luxuries his estate has to offer. The home on the lake overlooked two bays and was one of the most coveted pieces of property in the state. The sprawling 10 acres included servant quarters and a 20,000 square foot home. To the left of the house was the Storage area where Rod kept his work shop. Dominic hears the moans and giggles of ladies coming from the building. Rod had installed a satellite TV and subscribed to the playboy channel to feed his appetite for woman. It was always on. He walked slowly to the shop and admired the beauty of the well groomed hedges, and the thick green lawn.. “Dominic, good to see you, thanks for coming over.” “Hey, Rod, what is going on? What do you need help with?” “Well, the starter is rusted.” Based on his financial status, Rod could have easily paid to have this fixed, but he enjoyed the challenge of solving mechanical problems. “and, well, I do not want to get electrocuted.” Locating the starter Dominic roles up his sleeves and points to the wires and bolts that needed to be removed as the starter is replaced.

Rod asks Dominic, “so how are things at home?” “Well you know, I am really busy right now” Rod asks “Is that lotsa-shit dog of yours still barking up a storm?” Dominic lets out a loud laugh “how do you come up with this stuff?” Rod replies, “as I said before, I never repeat myself.” Rod smiles looking at Dominic to see if he understood his humor on this one. Dominic catching up says “very funny” Than in usual Rod fashion, he asks Dominic, “and Rose is she taking care of you?” “Rod I do not want to talk about this.” “Yeah just as I figured. Dominic you need to get out there, there are a lot of woman looking at you, and you only get one life, my friend!” “I have something I want to share with you, you need to come up to my den when we’re done here.”

Just as they began to remove the starter from the engine block, Dominic’s cell phone goes off, it’s Rose, sounding frantic. “Alexandra is sick, come home now.” “Can't you handle it? I‘ll be home in a bit.” They hang up and two minutes later the phone rings again. “She threw up, come home.” She starts crying in a panic. “I have about a half hour can’t it wait? Still sounding upset Rose replies, “No it can‘t“ he replies “is she dying” Dominic looks at Rob, rolls his eyes, and sighs. “Just give her some medicine and I‘ll be home soon.” Another two minutes pass and it‘s the phone again. Ring, ring, ring and the other end, a crying frantic voice screams, “she is throwing up again and I don't know what to do!” Dominic looks around, scratches his head and mutters to himself, this is unreal. “I’m on my way home! Do you need me to pick up any medicine?” still frantic, Rose replies, “yeah, yeah that would help.”

Rod is over in the corner pretending not hear the phone calls. Dominic turns to him, “Rod I have to go. Rose cannot handle it along when Alexandra is sick. “Man, what is with her?” “I know, but it’s really hard Rod, she doesn’t work, sleeps an average of 13 hour a day. This depression thing is hard to deal with“ On the way home he stops off at Walgreen’s and picks up the Childs Bayer aspirin. He arrives home, all the lights are on, but, by this time both Rose and Alexandra are asleep on the couch. He gently wakes her, and stared as far into her eyes as he could, hoping to sense some glimmer of understanding, some hint of awareness. Dominic says, Honey, you fell asleep, lets go to bed. He picks up Alexandra and carries her to her room. He bends over and Kisses her on the forehead, “I love you“. He then walks into the bedroom Rose already snoozing, he turns on the television and falls asleep.

Flashback:

Dominic’s reminiscence were partly to clear his mind of the past and partly an obsession with his despair. He lived at subsistence level the first four years of his pre-law work. He now attended Hamline Law School on a full scholarship. At the end of his final semester he was under great pressure to finish out his degree with honors. He was exhausted. It is 9:00 PM and he needs a brake and turns to Bianca to deal with his despair.

The early days of Bianca were as wild as it was full of random content and postings that came from around the world. Links that would lead to anywhere and anything. What he enjoyed was the surprise. Behind each connection came the possibility of something he had never seen before, never knowing how obscene the new photos would be. He was lost in a fantasy land and it had been building for years. Starting with the first porn magazines he found in his neighbor’s fish house. Dominic now twenty five had been looking at naked woman almost his entire life and it had been his own little secret. The obsession with pornography lingered in his everyday life and no one could know. The adrenalin rush caused the excitement he found no where else. As the web pages loaded he felt assured that it was normal, yet he wondered, who are these people that would do these things. He found solace in knowing that they had the courage to be free from the pressures of concernment. He never could, for him it was fantasy and could never enter his real world; at least that is what he believed now! As he clicked on link by link he would run across things that would make most people cringe, He found the most beautiful women, but what he loved most of all was when he ended up in the dungeons of a strangers home. He liked when the situation looked real, the people were real, not the brushed up photos of models, they were old news after all these years. He wanted something more and there was a surprise found after each click. What ever your thing, it was there. Where is this happening? He asked himself, there is so much new material for you to see. The proliferation of photo’s brought together through the technology of scanners and home pages.

Now, safely in his bedroom, surfing, the intensity would grow. He discovered a way to hack into pay sites by shorting the web address of the posted links, this gave him greater access to the more material. It was his way of dealing with things. To relieve the pressure and stresses of the his every day life. Over the years the appetite grew. They all looked so happy. With there perfect smiles, they wanted it, they liked it. Knowing he was once again safe he unzips his pants and the next few hours felt like minutes. He is lost in his castle in the sky, when suddenly he heard foot steps coming up the stairs, he quickly clicked on the word document to cover up the images on the screen. he reached over and pulled his law book onto his lap to cover up just before the door flung open, it was his law school room mate. “Hey Dominic, you want to grab a beer?” “Ah, well, I am just finishing up my paper.” “But it is 12:00“ He glances over at the clock and thinks to himself, “oh my God where has the time gone?” “Come on man you need a break.” “Yea, sure, I will be right down” This was another close call but Dominic had become a master at hiding his secret life.
 
Having read the first "paragraph" I would send you back to the drawing board to learn about tense, paragraphs, punctuation, and spelling.

EDIT:

Suppose I should justify my response.

Hey you!! Little boy, you can be Mayor too, just believe in yourself and you can be anything you want” Dominic is riding downtown in a white mustang convertible sitting on the back canvas waving his hand. Next to him, his wife and daughter, all smiles. They looked like the “perfect American family“. Dominic reached into his bag and threw out a handful of tootsie rolls to the children as they scrambled to get the most. One boy running past a girl half his age to beat her to the prize. He turns and gives her a grin as opens the candy and places it in his mouth. On the side of the car read “re-elect Mayor Davey” It is the Forth of July and Dominic is the Mayor of Tonka, located on Lake Minnetonka Minnesota.
Click to expand...

That first section ending in anything you want is speech and while you correctly close the speech marks you haven't opened them. This is also the end of the paragraph as Dominic is riding... is a new paragraph.

You then switch from present tense (i.e. Dominic is riding) to past tense (i.e. Dominic reached into...) and then back to present tense (i.e. one boy running...) and it's very annoying.

That last sentence is crap and doesn't belong in any narrative -find another way to express the setting. And it's fourth, not forth as forth has a few, completely different, meanings.
 
continued

Chapter 2

Take some time to look at your life,
to figure out the cause of strife
To laugh and cry,
listen and learn
we each have our own concern.
For joy and pain,
like sunshine and rain
work together to nurture a gain

To love is good because it is so difficult. For Dominic the tools he brought to this game of marriage where poorly honed, never quite figuring out this whole Mars & Venus thing.
By no means witnessing true love in his upbringing, he was left with distorted perceptions of how to really meet the needs of another. Thinking to himself “I never have quite figured out why the urges of men & women differ so much. I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".

It did not help that his wife had come with even less of an understanding, he thought to himself. I just wish she would get “it.” She does not even understand what “it” is. To Dominic this was so simple. The purpose of his life. His ambitions and accomplishments. He just wanted a partner in it all, that she would share in the joy and stand by his side. To have the bigger home, the prestige, status and the respect of others. Rose, shared none of these things with Dominic. It was unsatisfying to him. She explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. Their intimacy gone almost at all levels. He wondered now, if divorce was something he should consider. He knew neither of them where truly happy. “Maybe I would be doing her a favor by setting her free” he thinks to himself. But now, things where much more complicated then all that. For now there was Alexandra to consider, his political ambitions and how it would affect that, and surely the cost of support would mean giving up the lake home. Perhaps, a coexistence is the best thing for now he reasoned. Plus the rest of his life was very satisfying. The passing thoughts would come and go.

Dominic left early for the office. He believes in an early start to his day. He is driven by a motor from within. As he arrives to his workplace he turns to Diana his administrative assistant “Anything new yet“ Diana replies, “well the governor called,” Dominic in his excitement “and?” “he wants to know if you will be the speaker at the mayors convention.” Dominic lets out a big “YES!!” “Congratulations sir.” Dominic smiles, This is the call he had been waiting for. He has come so far, and to think they held me back in the first grade, he always knew the divorce had effected him and the teacher did not understand what he was going through. Dominic was driven to show the world that he was not a nobody. He strived for accomplishment and wanted it more then anything. This was a crowning achievement in his life. I showed them. He gloated in his victory.

“You have an intriguing day Mr. Davey, please Diane, we know each other to well for this. I know, but it is my way of showing you the respect you so deserve. You have two meetings today. 10:00 am, the Fire Chief wants to discuss the possibility of adding another fire truck. This afternoon at 2:00 pm you are meeting with Mr. Dayton to discuss his plans for the Dayton property. He wants you to meet him at Sunny’s and wants to know if the city would consider his donation of park land in exchange for the high density rezoning.” Thank you Diana, Dominic replies. He goes into his office and begins preparing for his day.

He is greeted with his usual five to ten emails. He takes pride in answering each question submitted by members of the community. One lady wants a new stop light put on the corner of sixth and Vernon. Another, wants to remove the stop sign on Wayzata Blvd. Another complains that there is to much development and wants to preserve the cities undeveloped land. Dominic does not play politics and says it like it is. Diana, peaks her head in, it is obvious that She has romantic feelings for Dominic. As many woman do. He is tall dark and handsome. Intelligent, and powerful, and just has a special charisma possessed by a rare few.

He would have much to say at the Mayoral convention. The high end shops on the lake front would turn from what was more like a Warf to old style brick fronts with iron rod accents. The new clock tower will be the center piece of downtown and a lasting legacy of his tenure as Mayor. The only obstacle is annexing the four homes to make a seamless downtown to the lake front. Next month was the city council vote on annexing the remaining homes to complete the project. The support was high with the exception of the four home owners, so the plan looked set in motion


It is a typical Thursday evening as Dominic arrives home, Carlene leaving, with the house having not been picked up in days. He begins to put the dishes away and tidy up the place. His stomach growls, and he reaches into the freezer for a frozen packet of Chick Kiev. Rose and Alexandra where out playing in the front yard. Alexandra is jumping over the sprinkler water. He watched her through the window as he ate his dinner, noticing how quickly she was growing up. He wondered if some how he was missing out on the experience of fatherhood. He loved her more then life itself.

After he finished eating, he went out into the yard to join them. Alexandra came running at him, “Daddy, Daddy!” as she leaped into his arms. His heart melted as it was the greatest experience to be loved and trusted by his little girl. The sprinkler still on she runs back and jumps over the water and immediately looks to see if he is watching. He picks up the hose and sprays her, she giggles and runs around hiding behind the oak tree in the center of the yard. Her silly laugh never stops. He sneaks one way and turns the other, as she comes running out from behind the tree, they fall into each others arms and they both start to laugh as the water sprayed on them . Rose is sitting back watching and smiling.

As they reenter the home rose passes the mess on the floor accumulated from the day. Dominic frustrated inside and cannot hold his mouth shut. “Rose, please! Can you just put away the toys when you are finished.” Rose, gives him a nasty look. “I am sorry for raising my voice, I will do it.” Rose, turns away and walks upstairs with Alexandra looking back at him trying to understand what the big deal was. As Dominic picks up he thinks to himself, It hardly seems fair, I pay the bills, and do all the cleaning. I don’t mind putting in my fair share, but this is like eighty percent twenty percent. Just let it go he says to himself. He plays the role and does his duty for the good of their family.

Dominic goes up to kiss Alexandra good night “I love you” he kisses her on the forehead, she is asleep and never even knows the depth of his love for her at this hour. Dominic turns to his den to escape the world, letting Rose to have the bed to herself to avoid any further complications. As he logs onto the computer, Dominic hears the phone ring. He picks it up and it is Carlene. Without acknowledgment of his presence, as if she was asking a secretary for her boss, “is Rose available” Dominic replies “sure I will get her.” Dominic gets up and walks to the bedroom, “honey, its your mother.” This is a nightly ritual, Carlene spends the days at the house with Rose and the evenings on the phone with her. After several hours hiding out in his den, Dominic emerges to a quiet house, he tiptoed into the bathroom and gets ready for bed.

The weekend sets upon the lake community of Tonka. Every weekend is special as long as the weather cooperates! This was one such weekend.

Rod pulls up in his yacht and takes the family out for a boat ride. The 40 foot cruiser was a twin screw Sun Ray. The family loads in. Rose goes out to lay out on the front deck of yacht. “Are you still thinking on going running for Congress.” “Yeah, I think this Mayor Convention speech will be a boon. I am very excited.” Rod, turns to Dominic, just remember “you can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think! Dominic replies with a chuckle, armed with a comeback this time. “Hey Rod no one likes a smart ass, especially another smart ass!” Rod fires right back “Hey Dominic, never turn your back on a charging turtle” Dominic thinks about that one and then says, I guess I shouldn’t get in a spitting contest with a llama, and lets it go.

The family goes to church about regularly, Rose insists on it. This Sunday this sermon like most was good. All about the importance of finding peace and balance in your life. Dominic stares at his watch waiting out the hour. With fifteen minutes left, a couple gets up front and gives their personal story. He pushing her wheel chair to the front they are attractive and look to be in their early 40‘s. They share how one morning out of the blue she woke up in a seizure, not a clue in the world it was coming. How it turned out to be a tumor and the Doctors had to remove a portion of her brain to save her life. And, they took out the portion that ran her ability to walk. And she turns to her husband, her voice raises an octave as the emotions of the moment pour out, and we are so blessed to have each day that god has given us, the story tears at the heart string, this stuff does happen. Dominic is empathetic to them. He wonders how he would react if that happened to Rose or how Rose would cope if it happened to him. Now thinking to himself this hole thing with the toys he was complaining about the other day was so inane. He turns to Rose and whispers softly, honey, I am really sorry for the toy comment.” Rose replies, “ thank you for apologizing, it is forgotten, okay.”
 
continued

Chapter 3 Flashback:

Be kind to a child
No matter what they say
the influence you have
Go beyond just today

It is 1974 and Dominic stands at the corner as the parade passes by. Fascinated at the go- carts, the princesses, everyone has candy for him. The streets are crowded with everybody, his world is here, it is all he knows. Like little boys do, he giggles as he picks up a peace of caramel and seeks immediate gratification, he unwraps it and puts it in his mouth. He stares at the ground looking for more, it is almost like from this point forward was slow motion. He looks up, and Mayor Penton drives by pointing his finger at him, “Hey boy, you can be Mayor too someday, just believe in yourself and you can do anything.” He stands there dazed, as his mom picks him up, Dominic’s eyes follow the Mayor all the way down the street. Even at this early age he notices how everyone knows and respects the gentleman riding atop the classic white convertible.

Upon arriving home Dominic’s mother puts him to bed. She says the evening prayer with him. The nightly ritual.

“Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy king dome come. Thy will be done, in earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses , as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the king dome, and the power, and the glory, for ever, Amen.”

His mother gives him a kiss on the forehead. “I love you” The image of the Mayor still fresh in his mind, he lies awake. He hears the pots and pans banging in the kitchen below and his mom and dad talking. Their voices beginning to raise, the scene is all to familiar. His dad now yelling at his mom, uncontrollably. He turns on his side, grabbing Haza, the family cock-a-poo for comfort. Dominic hears a slap, loud and sharp, followed by, “ don’t you ever do that to me again!” Haza turns quickly to look, wincing and then turns back to lay down. Dominic grabs a pillow to cover his head and muffle the sounds of what he knows will soon follow. A solitary tear fills is his eye. He says to himself in doubt that if there was a God that he would let such things happen. “God if you really exist, take the money from my piggy bank, please prove to me you are real.” When Dominic awoke the next morning he checks to see if the money is still there. He opens the piggy bank and all the money was gone.

When the boy had gone a few blocks from home, he sat next to an old man. He noticed that the old man looked hungry and he offered him a peace of his candy bar. The old man looked down at Dominic and gave him a big smile. His smirk was like the grin of a very young child. His face was all sunken and wrinkled with a long nose and big ears. Dominic asks, why are you smiling. Because your sharing your candy with me, it shows you are a person doing good works. What does that mean? The old man replies, it means you will be someone that God will use you in an incredible way. From a child’s perspective he did not understand.

Dominic leaves the house and sees the man again. This time he is fishing. A man that was at peace. How could he be so content? The man turns to Dominic and slowly says, with the innocents of a child, “hello son its only me.“ Dominic asks, what are you fishing for. The old man replies, Big Sam. In his wonderment. Dominic asks, “who is Big Sam?” the man replies “He is the biggest fish in the bay. I had him up to the shore a few years ago and snapped my line just before I was going to net him.” Dominic replies “so you are still trying to catch him.” “Yes I am“ says the old man. “Why are you still fishing for him” asks Dominic, but before he even finishes asking, a little boy screams from down the way, I got em, I got em, and the old man runs to the other boy, and yells back. “You see Dominic, you just keep fishing in life and you will find him” For the next ten years through out the summers Dominic would see the old man and watched him as he fish next to the bridge. Never forgetting the conversation they had. He wondered if the man with the smile of a child was still fishing for Big Sam
 
continued

Mayoral Convention

The game of politics
will get you uptight
A battle between
the left and the right
Protecting the wealthy is the
right wingers creed
And tax and spend
The leftist need
The battle fought
In Congressional Hall
with their promise
To save us all


As they leave the house Rose is dressed in a red sparkly dress tightly fitted and showing off her immaculate figure. Dominic looks over, proud to see his wife looking so stunning. While Dominic drove towards Downtown St. Paul, he is excited and nervous. He turns to Rose, “honey, I cannot believe we are here.” Doing this, every major person in state politics and big business is going to be there. “Yeah, I know Rose replies.” She turns her head and looks out the window. Disinterested in the affairs. Dominic asks, “Can’t you be a little happy for us” Rose, turns to Dominic, gives him a forced smile, “honey, congratulations. You have worked hard for this“

It is a black tie event and Dominic is fully aware of the importance this will have on his future. As they enter the spectacle, an on comer greets them, “thank goodness you’re here, we started to get worried about you” The man says in a light voice, “Hi I am Jerry, now please follow me Mr. And Mrs. Davey. You are on our V.I.P. guests list tonight! You know what an exciting thing to be, a Very Important Person!” He chuckles. “Sorry, I tend to ramble. You guys are amazing, you have it all! It really is a pleasure to meet you” They following Jerry back stage, Dominic looks around, and then up to the ceiling were the balloons where tied in the rafters. The bustling noise of a thousand conversations is to heard as one loud steady rumble. So many faces, so many first impressions. The excitement, the opportunity. It is here he begins to lay his foundation for his life purpose. The anticipation of the moment is realized as he thinks back to how this was his childhood dream!

When they arrive back stage, Jerry yells. “Oh Joseph, this is Mr. And Mrs. Davey.” Joseph, the event coordinator immediately stops his conversation with a group of volunteers and briskly walks over hand extent ended “Hello it is so nice to meet you” Jerry says “he is third on the list for speaking this evening.” Joseph replies “Dominic, it is really a pleasure. The buzz around you is enormous! You are the hottest thing to hit the political landscape in this state in years! I have heard the most wonderful things” Joseph turns to Rose “Now, Mrs. Davey, you will be acknowledged during this event, you will be placed in the balcony suite. Please make sure you are sitting in the reserved place especially for you. It is at suite one hundred and eleven. Please be in isle two seat B. There will also be waiters if you need a drink, but please do not leave your seat or it will just be an empty chair when you come up on the big screen.” Rose looking directly at him, in a polite voice says “Please there is no need, I do not like the attention” Dominic looks at her, “honey can’t you at least play the part?” “No and that is final“ Rose turns and walks away Joseph, looks to Dominic, “okay then, I guess we will skip that part.” Joseph turns to Jerry, “go tell the camera men, no Mrs. Davey!”

Dominic paces back and forth back stage, reciting his speech one last time. The MC gets on stage as the crowd quiets, as he begins to speak “ladies and gentlemen, it is with the utmost pride I present to you our next speaker, a rising star in this states political system. At age 36 he is the youngest of all the mayors in this grand state of ours. He is a graduate of Hamline Law school with honors, has worked with a team of attorney’s to settle the states law suit against big tobacco yielding more than a billion dollars to help our state care for our friends and family during their darkest hours. He is an advocate of our children. He has taken a middle of the pack school district to what is now the highest ranking school system in our state. It is no wonder, he is an escalating principal of idealism. It is the greatest honor that I ask you to please welcome May-or! Dominic! Davey!”

A long applause:

Delegates and guests: Welcome!

Dominic stands before a crowd of more than a thousand at the State Mayors Convention:

Thank you all for attending this evenings festivals, for serving your towns so well over so many years and, especially, for helping us mobilize, not only the hundreds of volunteers you sought, but the more than one thousand guests you got to attend this amazing event. Your success is a mark of how excited Minnestotants are to have this Convention.

It's also our way of saying "thank you" for you loyal sacrifice to your communities. For your tremendous vote of confidence in our state. When I took the oath of office nearly four years ago in my City of Tonka, we were a city with many challenges, a city that had, like many municipalities, a declining down town.

Like much of America there were those who doubted then whether this city could hold onto the gains made during the past decade. A lot of people were wondering what the future held for our town or whether we even had a future at all.
 
continued

But there where many that did believe in us, with our City Council meeting filled with input from all corners of the community. Nearly four years ago, with the city's fate still a question mark in many minds, our City embarked on the Downtown Revival Project. This was a show of faith that required courage and vision.

And today it fills me with enormous pride and gratitude to tell everyone that Our City is back! Our economy is growing, with several hundred private sector jobs created in the last 12 months alone. Our neighborhoods are humming, with a level of public and private construction not seen since the end of World War II.

Our streets are bustling, with a three-year, 20% reduction in crime that has defied the odds and made one of the nation's safest cities even safer. Our schools are reviving. Our streets are cleaner. Our quality of life is better. And our future is brighter than ever. It's only fitting, because from our earliest days, when Hubert Humphry was the Mayor of Minneapolis, the spirit shown by all Minnestotants is one that cannot die. We have much to learn from our Mentors. For me I wish to make a personal statement of gratitude. I thank you Mayor Penton, who when I was just a little boy, told me I could be Mayor too some day. He gave me the courage to believe in myself. Please stand up Mayor Penton, applaud this man, he exemplifies the heart and soul of this great state. The person, that exemplifies what should be shown by all. His encouragement is why I stand before you today.

(A long applause)

Thank you Mayor Penton you have created the vision for my future. I have ambitions to follow the track of the late great Mr. Hubert Humphry, to put Minnesota on the map the way Tonka is being placed within our own state today. Mr. Humphry has much to teach us, let us not forget his contributions to this land! A Mayor, who was a joyful campaigner and spirited champion of ideals. Humphrey put us on the national political map. He advanced from mayor to U.S. senator, eventually becoming vice president of the United States under Linden B Johnson.

We've showed the world that Minnesota has what it takes to be a true land of opportunity. We may be small in comparison to other states, but it is our spirit of enterprise and our top educational system and our low crime rate that have us ranked as one of the best places to live in the world. Be proud of this land! Take pride in your Cities! It is your contribution at the local level that will effect more lives than a thousand presidents. You are an army, that can bring together communities, save starving children, reduce crime, and create the love of liberty...and because, no matter who you are, if you believe in yourself and your dream, Minnesota will always be the place for you.

This is the state of dreamers. And time and again, it's the place where the greatest dream of all the American Dream has been tested and has triumphed.

No place epitomizes the possibility of realizing your dream and the ability experience a spirit and your own vision more than then this great country of ours. Ironically, it is exactly because we are a state that embraces freedom that welcomes everyone and encourages their dreams that Minnesota remains on the frontlines economic growth. Over the next 20 years our state will see more than 1.5 million men women and children be attracted to this land of opportunity. The challenges we face will be many. Saving our environment for future generations while embracing the opportunities that present themselves.

I want to make a special thank you to our Governor for supporting our visions and encouraging more control at the local level!

I will repeat this message to my fellow Republicans, Democrats, and Independents, as many times as it takes, so we can keep Minnesota a safe and secure place to live. We will go forward, doing our duty for our cities and towns, our nation, and our families.

And we owe you more than we can ever say thank you! We have the deepest gratitude to our Police Officers and Firefighters who volunteered for duty. Your houses of worship that promote the family values we are known for. “Minnesota nice” is not just an oxymoron. It the trueness of what we are. Embrace your neighbors, help the elderly, and be giving of yourself. Your school children will grow to take on this land. Praise them to build their self esteems. Believe in yourself that you can make anything happen. Because many of you already do these things, it’s the reason that this Convention is our chance to say "thank you."

We're the World's Second Home, the place where every religion is practiced and every culture is celebrated. It's all there for you from Brooklyn Park to Virginia, and from Duluth to Rochester. Take it all in: The Vikings, Timber wolves to the Ordway; the Twins and the Wild; to the beauty of the Boundary Waters Canoe area, to the Iron range, to the high-fashion shopping and bargain-hunting specials; and the worlds largest Mall. all eager to please any taste and fit any budget.

As this is a place to make all your dreams come true, remember to be decent to others. To set aside your own needs for the good of others. For it is in doing this that we will continue to have the best cities and towns in the world.

Thank you, and have a great convention.

The crowd stands in ovation as Dominic steps down from the podium. Several banners held high in the air, waving in the back in forth in his support! A slogan already tagging his ambitions:


Chapter 5

A seed is planted
Nurtured and strong
Growing dichotomy
between right and wrong

“Got you didn’t I” Dominic picks up Alexandra and carries her heading towards the stairs. She giggles, Ginger pouncing behind, saying with her eyes, “can I play too?”. It is the next morning and Dominic is hungry for a bowl of his favorite cereal, Raisin Bran. He walks by the overflowing laundry room, the house is a mess from top to bottom. Dominic says careful to sound cheerful “Rose, can you please get the laundry done today.” Rose shouts from Alexandra’s room “Yeah, I will. but first I have to go down town to buy beads to make jewelry for Alexandra with mom. But, I will, I promise.” Dominic finishes getting ready and heads to the office.

“Congratulations Mayor, nice work last night, I saw a glimpse on the news.” A woman walking her dog had strolled across the street to shake his hand. “Thank you so much for all the hard work.” “Your welcome, and thank you for your support!” Dominic replies. Dominic is still on a high from the convention, his spirits have never been so elated. He knew more then ever his dreams, his goals where coming to fruition. A senate race only a few years off, he now could begin planning his efforts on higher aspirations.

He enters his office and as usual, Diana has beet him in. Dominic you have one meeting today with Rod at 3:30 this afternoon.“ Thank you Diana” “How are the kids doing?” Well you know, teenagers, they think they know it all” Dominic laughs, well, I guess I have a few years left to experience that” “Yeah it happens so fast though” Diana sits and ponders as Dominic enters his office and sets down his brief case. He sits at his desk and as he logs onto his computer he looks up to his life’s motto tapped to the top of the monitor. He had printed it out some time ago and thought it was reminiscent of his views. To Dominic the saying fit so perfect in business and in politics. He found it fitting because it described the outlook that we even has humans live in a jungle. He reads every day.

“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster then the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must out run the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle: When the sun comes up, you’d better be running.”

Rod and Dominic meet at three thirty to begin their discussions on the budgeting for the down town revival project. Here is the pro forma estimates of the facing of the rival district. We would need to juggle a few things but the numbers look good. The lowest bidder is Duff Contractors. “Looks good Rod.”

The conversation turns personal as Rod picks up where the last conversation left off from their previous get together. “Hey Dominic, I never got to tell you what I was going to share the other day.. I have been meeting a ton of woman off this new sight. It is a Swingers site. Dominic it is amazing. I got a blow job in your drive way last night!” “What? What are you doing? Are you crazy? Rod gives Dominic a friendly shove, “Oh lighten up, no one saw us. We just needed a private place, and we couldn’t wait“ “I cannot have this Rod, please.” Rod continues, “Dominic it is like this, if a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?” Dominic cracks a smile and replies, “Rod, your reasoning is out there my friend” Rod continues with a smile knowing he had gotten Dominic again “Hey buddy, if you’re not getting any you can join in, there are plenty of woman wanting a ‘discrete relationship‘. This site is the worlds largest of its kind and there are thousands of woman right here longing for men to please them.” “Rod, I am married and I am the Mayor, I can’t do that, what if I got caught, my career would be over.” “Hey, I’m just telling you it’s there it is called The Home Site”

The seed was planted and Dominic knew in his weak moments he would be unable to stop himself. He would need to check it out. His porn viewing was still several times a week even now, it had never stopped, He spent hours at home or at the office viewing when he was alone, still peering around corners and locking doors. It had been a long time since he had seen anything new.
 
continued

In all of his days of viewing porn, watching porn, flipping through the endless pages of magazines, never could he have imagined what $19.95 could buy. Dominic considered himself a “coinsurer” of types when it came to viewing naked women. Growing up in his own secret fantasy world, he truly thought he had seen it all. It took a lot to stun him, but this site made him feel as if he was living under a rock! For a brief moment, he was stunned by all that he feared he had missed. Deep inside himself, he felt a new relationship with another outlet growing. In Dominic’s world, he was always in control, the family, the finances, the career, the status. But as he read through the profiles, he realized that the tables had been turned. Here were pages and photos of beautiful women, one after the other, expressing in great and very explicit detail what they wanted. Many were married and looking for “something on the side”, while others were single, looking to express their wild side, women, women, an endless quantity - what a jackpot he had hit! Everything that Dominic knew was now changed and he had to take this site in and study it like a new ground breaking project. The most arousing part of all of this for Dominic was that this was real, this was live. These women where the beauties who had captured his boyhood attention, welcomed him into manhood, and now he could meet them. Under his breath he says “thanks Rod” he sat in amazement.

Dominic conducted his own search. This was familiar to him, much like ordering a custom tailored suit or a dream car. “Just tell us what you want sir and we will build it for you” With each click of the mouse, Dominic created his ultimate desire. He got a bit more daring as he saw the options, as they took him beyond the usual personal sites he had strolled through. Beyond body type and height, to fetishes. Once he completed his search, he labeled it, “ Bianca” once again paying tribute to the one who brought him here.

He clicks on the first profile and reads the caption, the woman has naked photo‘s of herself and even shows her face. Her bio reads:

“Hi...Thanks for checking out my profile. I am a young very attractive bi female from the St. Paul area, looking for other bi (or bi-curious) females (to meet alone) for friendship and hopefully more. ;) My husband is very supportive of my needs. He likes to watch and if you are comfortable he would join in.

Couples: I will meet, but only with my (straight) husband. No, I will NOT meet without him. Please don't ask.

SINGLE Guys: I will meet with my (straight) husband present. You MUST be well hung, with a picture to prove it. Also, you should like eating pussy. Don't expect me to suck your cock, if you do not eat.

He clicks on profile after profile reading more and more. As he scrolls through the pages that his search has brought him, to another profile. The first picture is of her breasts, which are beautiful, full and round - wow. He clicks on the other photos, smaller pictures to the left, the first one a face shot, what a let down this was as he thinks to himself, “man, you couldn’t even drink this one pretty.” He closes her profile and continues his search, there where more woman out here that have it all. To him this is all so astounding. More then eighteen million people worldwide on here looking for sex. The world is dark and deep and there are so many players you would not believe. These people are your friends and neighbors. they are the people who live among us leading everyday, normal lives, and they all are looking for one thing, sex.. He is lost deep in his castle in the sky when the phone rings. At first the sound of the ring is drown out by his thoughts, but then as it grows louder, he is brought back with the jolt of a train wreck to the world on Secor Lane. “Honey are you coming home?” “Oh sure dear, I just have a few things to finish” “But it’s already 9:00, Alexandra and I were getting worried about you.” Dominic realized he had been lost in porn for more then two hours. “I’ll be right home dear, sorry I lost track of time.”

Dominic was in denial of his sexual addiction. He had more and more come to live a double life. A well-known, respected and admired man in his visible life, as behind closed doors, he was secretly engaging regularly in viewing pornography. The thought of this ever being discovered sent a chill through him, as it would be shocking to those who knew respected and most of all loved him. The beginnings of his addiction where rooted in his childhood. From the outside Dominic came from a wealthy successful family. On the inside his childhood life was chaotic. For Dominic this was rooted in his mother’s divorce at age five, she remarried an Oncologist and he had never seen his biological dad since causing a feeling of abandonment.
 
continued

Angel

Could it be an Angel
a vision, or a dream,
something so amazing
not once has he seen.

“Hi Charlie” Dominic says as he walks by the Police Chief in the corridors of City Hall. . It was obvious he pretended not hear him. Dominic knew why, he felt bad about what was happening, but knew it was the best thing for the City.

Today was a long day, and he was still exhausted from the speech he had given. Putting so much emotion into the greatest day of his life. Dominic had worked the morning as a practicing family law attorney and spent the afternoon discussing the cities zoning with some key developers. Everyone has left for the day and Dominic locks the door to his office. He needs to relax and for Dominic, he turns to his drug of choice, and explores the swingers site again. .

Watching this world through web cams and talking with instant messaging the world was all interactive, and it all seemed so innocent, the anonymity provided a false sense of security. He gazes through the photo gallery at all the strangers’ faces, and wonders to himself, “how do they have the courage to post their photo?” He realizes that perhaps this is more envy than wonderment that he is feeling. “BLEEP” - a message appears on his screen. Dominic stared and thought this looked interesting. The words were in large letters in a box on the center of his screen. Angel would like to have a private chat with you. He clicks on the link and accepts.

Angel: Hi
Dominic: Hello
Angel: You sound like the type of guy I am seeking.
Dominic: Really, I am not paying for sex you know
Angel: Well that’s good ‘cause I’m not looking for money. I think your ad sounds interesting, you are the right age, and you said you are well endowed.
Dominic: I am flattered
Angel: You should be. I never pursued anyone. I get about 50 messages a day from men who want to have sex with me.
Dominic: Really? You get that many replies?
Angel: Yes and I talk to some of them, but not many, My friends tell me that I‘m going to end up murdered, but I just laugh and reply, “well at least I can multitask.”
Dominic: Well I’m pretty new to this and I don’t really know if that’s what I want.
Angel: Well you do not need to, I am here to play and have some fun with the right people
Dominic: Play? I think I can handle play
Angel: Good - I think we just may get along
Dominic: I know nothing about you
Angel: Well take a second and read my profile. Do you have an email? I will send you some additional photo’s
Dominic: Yeah, DominicDavey@Minnestrone.gov

Dominic clicks on the link to her profile. The photo is of a beautiful woman in her late 20’s with dark hair wearing a fuchsia colored dress which is fitted perfectly to her toned body. There is a gap between her legs lying just below the short skirt, revealing a body of impeccable proportions. He finds it hard to believe she is even writing him. He then turns to read her profile.

Hello my name is Angel:
29 year old Woman in Minneapolis Minnesota, United States
Looking For: Men for 1-on-1 sex, Bondage & Discipline, Exhibitionism/Voyeurism or Sadism & Masochism


I am open minded woman and very independent, outspoken, and stubborn. (there Desiree are you happy now?) I only date men that are well hung. I'm looking for a little satisfaction. I like to have an audience when I'm performing. Its such a turn on to be getting banged while other people are watching. I love it when a man can make me feel intimidated sexually (which doesn't happen very often by the way) I love men and love to make men happy and I am good at it. Very good. For the record boys, just because I enjoy it and have perfected my skills doesn't mean you'll get it.

Ideal Person:
A hot boy with tats, well endowed, no diseases, and who can keep up with a dirty one like myself. I like rough sex~hit me, choke me, spit in my face and f%#$ like an animal kind of sex, I will do anything for you, I am yours to own. I’m very good at being the submissive little slutty girlie and just want my dominant man to accommodate me. I’m not scared boys so bring it all. And anyone who has a suspended cage and wips, st. Andrews cross, or a fantasy rack I’m all yours. I want a man who requires zero work. Not interested in talking on the phone unless I’m giving you directions to my house. Don’t care what you have to say and refuse to pretend as though I do. Just shut up ok? Id prefer to find one or two guys that I can get with on a regular basis rather than whore around. I like a man that is in his 30‘s and can take charge, you need to have stamina and you need to take direction well. I need it all of the time, so if you cant hang don’t apply. Nothing else matters........I just want to be your whore!

He looks to his email and sees one new message. He opens the attachment and there she is tied to a cross, naked with her legs spread she is being lightly whipped. The mans face is never shown, but, he obviously was into what he was doing.


Angel: Still reading?
Dominic: Wow, that is quite a profile
Angel: Does it interest you Dominic? I think it turns you on
Dominic: I must admit, that you do look rather intriguing, but I am married
Angel: LOL, So! You have discretion, so no need to worry
Dominic: This would be my first time
Angel: I am not big into talking, either your in or your out. Dominic you can do what ever you want to me. I am yours if you want me to be.
Dominic: I’m still not sure
Angel: What is your biggest fantasy Dominic?
Dominic: Really? You want to know
Angel: yeah!! I do
Dominic: Well if we meet I could show you
Angel: I will give you my cell number and you can call anytime, I am always ready
754-953-2424
Dominic: I will be in touch, I think
Angel: I will await your call
Angel logs off at 7:32 pm
 
Why did you feel the need to start two threads that are exactly the same? Why not add to the one you started about 9 hours ago????

You aksed for people to tell you if they wanted more, then without waiting for any reaction you posted more....lots more..... :confused:

I alerted the mods that there are now, basically, double posts....maybe they'll merge them into one thread.....
 
First time here

So far it seems like no one really knows much. While appreciate Stewarts comments, I was looking for a input on the story line, obviously there needs to be an editor. Please input on the story only, look past gramatical stuff, that is just small details that can be fixed later.
 
Dander2194@aol. said:
I was looking for a input on the story line, obviously there needs to be an editor. Please input on the story only, look past gramatical stuff, that is just small details that can be fixed later.
Click to expand...
I have learned over these last few months that this is not such a wise thing to post on this board. There will be a few who ream you on this one.
 
Dander2194@aol. said:
So far it seems like no one really knows much. While appreciate Stewarts comments, I was looking for a input on the story line, obviously there needs to be an editor. Please input on the story only, look past gramatical stuff, that is just small details that can be fixed later.
Click to expand...

There is a problem with this rationale. If your grammar is really bad, few people are going to be willing to wade through such a long story. I started reading it and stopped because the grammar was stressing me out. I'd try for a rewrite and then post it again.
 
Dander2194@aol. said:
obviously there needs to be an editor.
Click to expand...


You stated about three lines into original post that there is an editor????? You even gave her name: "Edited by Liz Lover"


edit:

So far it seems like no one really knows much. While appreciate Stewarts comments, I was looking for a input on the story line, obviously there needs to be an editor. Please input on the story only, look past gramatical stuff, that is just small details that can be fixed later.
Click to expand...

please read this thread: http://forums.thebookforum.com/showthread.php?t=6268&highlight=constructive
 
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