StillILearn
New Member
It's plasticky. The spork, I mean. For safety purposes.
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The Therapy Thread
- Thread starter sirmyk
- Start date
novella
Active Member
Hi Doc. We have an appointment.
Really, Novella? I don't have you in my book.
That receptionist of yours is terrible. You should get rid of her. I told her specifically "Put me down for later, like sixish or so," and she was like "How about next Wednesday." I mean, with service like that, you're going to lose all your customers.
I think we should restrict our visits to twice a week, Novella. You're behind on your payments.
No worries, doc. I joined a poetry class. It's helping me to organize my feelings into sections, and I'll be rolling in dough soon. Poets get an office in the White House and a free pair of Hush Puppies automatically. It's cake.
I'm not sure it's that easy, novella.
No, it's totally cake. Look, here's my best poem so far:
Poem for a Stalker
You stalk me, I’ll stalk you back
I’ll make you have a heart attack,
Lying down and groaning loud
All around you there’s a crowd
“Let him suffer,” I will say,
"He was beastly anyway."
You’ll be gasping for a breath
Wondering if this is really death,
And I’ll be happy as a clam--
But that’s just me, it’s who I am.
I'm going to kick butt in poetry, doc.
Really, Novella? I don't have you in my book.
That receptionist of yours is terrible. You should get rid of her. I told her specifically "Put me down for later, like sixish or so," and she was like "How about next Wednesday." I mean, with service like that, you're going to lose all your customers.
I think we should restrict our visits to twice a week, Novella. You're behind on your payments.
No worries, doc. I joined a poetry class. It's helping me to organize my feelings into sections, and I'll be rolling in dough soon. Poets get an office in the White House and a free pair of Hush Puppies automatically. It's cake.
I'm not sure it's that easy, novella.
No, it's totally cake. Look, here's my best poem so far:
Poem for a Stalker
You stalk me, I’ll stalk you back
I’ll make you have a heart attack,
Lying down and groaning loud
All around you there’s a crowd
“Let him suffer,” I will say,
"He was beastly anyway."
You’ll be gasping for a breath
Wondering if this is really death,
And I’ll be happy as a clam--
But that’s just me, it’s who I am.
I'm going to kick butt in poetry, doc.
novella
Active Member
N: No, doc. It's my portable spork. I have to say, all this talk about cutlery is making me itch. I think I'm headed toward a relapse.
DS: Take a deep breath, novella.
(n. lies down on floor, breathes in and out)
N: I can't get my grandmother's silverware out of my mind. There are these huge forks for serving meat, like pitchforks, except they're very ornate. Hefty in the hand, with long tines.
DS: Yes, go on.
N: Using a spork makes me feel inadequate. I feel like everyone is laughing on the inside when I take the spork out of my bag.
DS: Take a deep breath, novella.
(n. lies down on floor, breathes in and out)
N: I can't get my grandmother's silverware out of my mind. There are these huge forks for serving meat, like pitchforks, except they're very ornate. Hefty in the hand, with long tines.
DS: Yes, go on.
N: Using a spork makes me feel inadequate. I feel like everyone is laughing on the inside when I take the spork out of my bag.
StillILearn
New Member
Innocent Bystander: Uh, while you're down there, would you mind looking around for some apostrophe's? I seem to have misplaced some of mine.
novella
Active Member
N: Well, there's lots of crap on the floor in here, but it's hard to tell the apostrophes from the commas and the single quotes when they're strewn all over the joint like this. Doc, you really have quite a stash of interesting junk under the sofa.
DS: Most patients don't spend time looking under there, novella. Would you like to take a seat?
N: Look, here's a dogcollar. I didn't know you had a dog, doc. Aw, cute. It says Sir Myk on it. Must be a big dog.
DS: Put that back, please. Now, where were we? . . .
N: Wow, apricot massage oil. Nice. And what's this? A Princess Diana scrapbook! You're an animal, doc.
DS: Most patients don't spend time looking under there, novella. Would you like to take a seat?
N: Look, here's a dogcollar. I didn't know you had a dog, doc. Aw, cute. It says Sir Myk on it. Must be a big dog.
DS: Put that back, please. Now, where were we? . . .
N: Wow, apricot massage oil. Nice. And what's this? A Princess Diana scrapbook! You're an animal, doc.
novella
Active Member
N: Hi Doc. Boy, I had trouble tracking you down.
DS: Novella, what are you doing here?
N: Your receptionist said you were at lunch, and I figured you for an upscale ethnic type. It only took me four restaurants to find you. What’s that, a margarita?
DS: This is truly outside the boundaries of professionalism, novella.
N: Hey, no worries. I’ll have one, too. Waiter, lemme have a large marg on the rocks? Gracias. . . . I’ll just sit over here, doc. You go ahead and eat.
DS: I mean it’s outside the limits of our professional relationship for you to track me down like this. It’s a breach of trust, novella.
N: Oh, yeah, that reminds me. I’m here for a really good reason actually. I want to have a relationship.
DS: With me!? I think that’s highly inappropriate.
N: NO! Not with you, ya big magoo. With someone young and attractive and rich. I need some hints on how to get the thing off the ground. Not just sex. You know, I can already do that. I need some pointers on the relationship part.
DS: I’m not old. Do you think I’m old? Is my hair is too thin on the top? I think it may be aging me. Maybe I should look at weaves. It puts ten years on, they say.
N: Weaves are lame, doc. The Donald, okay? That’s all I’m saying.
DS: Novella, what are you doing here?
N: Your receptionist said you were at lunch, and I figured you for an upscale ethnic type. It only took me four restaurants to find you. What’s that, a margarita?
DS: This is truly outside the boundaries of professionalism, novella.
N: Hey, no worries. I’ll have one, too. Waiter, lemme have a large marg on the rocks? Gracias. . . . I’ll just sit over here, doc. You go ahead and eat.
DS: I mean it’s outside the limits of our professional relationship for you to track me down like this. It’s a breach of trust, novella.
N: Oh, yeah, that reminds me. I’m here for a really good reason actually. I want to have a relationship.
DS: With me!? I think that’s highly inappropriate.
N: NO! Not with you, ya big magoo. With someone young and attractive and rich. I need some hints on how to get the thing off the ground. Not just sex. You know, I can already do that. I need some pointers on the relationship part.
DS: I’m not old. Do you think I’m old? Is my hair is too thin on the top? I think it may be aging me. Maybe I should look at weaves. It puts ten years on, they say.
N: Weaves are lame, doc. The Donald, okay? That’s all I’m saying.
StillILearn
New Member
Ronny said:
We could do alternate weeks and share the holidays. You can can Christmas, Easter, Valentines Day, Halloween, Passover, the 4th of July, Hannukah, and New Year's Eve. I'll take Thanksgiving.
Did they offer you money?
StillILearn
New Member
Innocent Bystander: The Donald? The Donald? I've never actually heard his side of the story. I've heard Marla's and Ivana's, but I've never heard The Donald's side. Does he go to Dr S too? What's the scoop?
novella
Active Member
I have an important issue to get off my head. I hate jokes. I hate those stupid punchline types of jokes. First of all, I can never remember them, and second of all, they are lame. I wish I had a small wristwatch-style groan module that I could turn on when a joke is over.