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The Therapy Thread

Ms. said:
I was two days late handing in an elective choice form for my subjects next semester and he wants me to pay a 100 euro fine.

a) I do not have a 100 euro fine
b) I question on what authority he can do such a thing,it is not set down in the rules that you pay a finance fine
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Weird. Usually when one doesn't choose electives in time it just means that you may not get the electives you want, or that you may be automatically allocated them. I would ask to whom you should pay the fine, and then go and talk to them about whether this is appropriate or not. If he asks that the money go to him then I would seriously question whether there isn't some kind of corruption involved. You were not advised of any penalties for late submission?
 
Hey, where's Dr. Smirky? I came all this way to see the great doc - highly recommended by a pink cat - and he isn't here. What's up with that?

I just need someone to talk to. You know, a sympathetic ear, a comforting pat on the back. Not much really. Instead, I find this pile of junkmail and half-eaten rotting sandwiches. Sheesh, if the famous Dr. Smirky is on vacation, he could at least hire someone to clean up around the office.

Geez, what a letdown. Not here. What a bummer. It took me hours - no, days - no, weeks - to get here and he's gone off fishing or something? How annoying. I'm ready to spill my guts, my inner soul, my everything and HE ISN'T HERE?!!! What gives him the RIGHT to do that? Play with my emotions, get my expectations up. Why, that evil-bastard, shyster. I bet he does this to ALL his patients! Yeah, strings them along, gets their hopes up, then disappears -- just like all those other no-good, crap-eating, dung-infested, money-grubbing psychiatrists.

mutter, mutter, . . . wasted all this time. Now I'll be late for anger management.
 
N: Hey, patient person. Come back. Doctor Smirk is here. He was trying to be dead, but he just needed some propping up. Want to be in Group? It's fun. Just sit over there.

Now, everyone, I'm practicing for being a shrink, so I'm the apprentice. Doctor Smirk isn't really dead. He's sleeping with blood on his neck, that's all. So, say your problems and I'll say something back.

Moto: You're not in charge. I want the real doctor.

N: Well, I can see that you need to pay more. That's called transference. Just transfer a bunch of your money to my Virgin Islands account. Here are the details. (hands business card). Anyone else? I have loads of technical savvy to share.

Ell: I have real problems. This is nonsense.

N: Hmm. You need some of these drugs. Take twice what it says. That usually works. Hey, I feel like the Wizard of Oz. Anyone want a pin-on heart medal?

direstraits: This sucks.

N: Repeat after me, bananaboy. There's no place like a posh hotel bar at 5:05. There's no place like a posh hotel bar at 5:05. .. ...
 
I'm feeling much better now. I took a few of those little yellow pills and a couple of green ones just to be sure. It seems to have done the trick. Don't know what came over me. I'm usually so very calm.

But, mmn, I still don't see the doc. There's just a funny smell coming from that heap of maggots . . . Is this one of those weird aversion therapy thingies?
 
Dr. Smirky's Assistant: (smashes through door) What are all of you doing around poor Dr. Smirky? And why was this door nailed shut? Can't you see that he's dead? Your chairs are circled round him like a wagon train. Leckert... seriously, that's not roast beef; that's part of his neck. Novella, why are you wearing the doctor's coat? Did you take it from his body? Doesn't the blood dried to it disturb you? I must insist you put it back at once. (out of breath) And why is there a banana peel on that empty chair? Kook... you must be new--have you paid for this session yet? (storms out of office)

Novella: Shesh... now she needs some serious therapy.

Leckert: I don'care wha'she saith... thith is thumb good roath beef.

Kook: I miss direstraits...
 
I came into my school library at 3pm to research and write a few assignments expecting it close at 9pm but it closes at 4pm. I would move to a public library but they close at 5. I've taken an hour train only to face having to return home to get any real work done. I feel slightly glumk about the whole thing but hopefully i can shake it.

Has anyone considered you know pushing novella in the direction of geniune help :D
 
N: Hi Doc. It's me Novella. I have an appointment today.

D: Yes, I know. What are we working on today Novella? Are you feeling any better.

N: No. I broke a bone in my head last night. Right here. (points to head) It just happened all of a sudden. Like BANG.

D: Ouch. That must hurt.

N: Hell yeah. I better sit down. Do you have any Mallomars?

D: No, I only have some Triscuits over there, but they're a little old.

N: That's sad, Doc. Really. So anyway, I hate fucking Christmas. The sidewalks get way too crowded, and the music is torture. So, I'm thinking December 15, airport, Thailand, rent a big suite, lie down for a couple days in a foreign land, like Bankok. I want to try out one of those airlines with the full length bed so you don't have to do the whole peanuts-drink-movie thing, which is very tiring. I can practice sleeping during the trip and then do some more when I get to the Orient. Believe it or not, I'm getting really good at it. It's like a specialty or something.

D: Sleeping . . . I didn't realize you were an insomniac.

N: You're not listening, Doc. I'm good at sleeping. As a matter of fact, I'm thinking of being a sleeping therapist, like, giving lessons in sleeping to people who don't know how. I can give pointers, like "okay, lie down." "Okay, close your eyes." "Okay, think of a black hunk of air." Like that.

D: Yes, I see. Breathing exercises and counting sheep, that sort of thing.

N: Um, no. Like sleeping. That's when you do no exercise at all and definitely don't count anything. Math is like the opposite of sleep, believe me.
 
Doc, I had a dream last night that I lived in a country where you had to put a cloth over your face and dance in order to move anywhere. You weren't allowed to decide where to go, the music would decide for you. It was a violent place and you weren't allowed to mention the dead.

There was lute music everywhere which was supposed to guide your movements, but if you took the cloth off your face you would become so sad that it was impossible to move. The police and the criminals looked like shepherds and had simple guns carved of wood.

I was a cook and wore bangles and rings and embroidered clothes. I put a tea towel over my face and listened to the music and started to go somewhere, out a door and down an alley. There was a modern supermarket where all the dogs were hiding, waiting for the bad times to pass, and I saw my dog there who I thought was dead.

In some ways, it was very beautiful and moving, but I woke up thinking about death.
 
Ms. said:
I miss this thread especially novella's post :(
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Yes, me too. But all of a sudden everyone has gotten so, like, normal on TBF. It's absolutely freaky! :confused:
Peder
 
I started this thread, so I may as well post something in it...

I need therapy!

Having gone missing for months on this book forum, I've decided to pop in to check on threads. Seems normalcy has returned, somewhat. Looks like my little green friend is back (Martin), as well as a few others I recognize. Lots of new names... fun stuff.

Where's Dr. Novelette? I left a sandwich at the door for her last week, but it's still there... waiting.
 
Duh, I've been waiting near the elevator bank for, like, months. I was trying to stalk you, doc, but I forgot what you looked like. You're so normal and everything.

I've been doing some powerful chocolate for probably three days. Whoa. I can't see my own eyeballs.
 
Ronny said:
I like some conversations of religion, if they are informative and interesting. I guess what I don't like are judgemental lectures from mostly the newly reformed. I find many religions fascinating and love to hear of them just don't care to be converted in any way.
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Me too...I love to learn about the world religions
 
Doc, nobody understands me. If I had only eight fingers and two were made of cream cheese. . . forget it . . I can't explain with all these people around. How's you're neck wound?
 
novella, you completely crack me up when you do this stuff. I could sit and read it all day. You're kind of like a combination of Robin Williams and
 
StillILearn said:
novella, you completely crack me up when you do this stuff. I could sit and read it all day. You're kind of like a combination of Robin Williams and
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and? and? and what? the suspense is killing me :( Uhm Dr. N, do you think I worry too much about the unknown? :confused:
 
Today's session

N: Hi Doc. Nice shirt. They’re coming back.

DS: You like it? My mother gave it to me in 1978.

N: Let’s not go there, doc.

DS: Well, I was just going to say that she had these very long, smooth nails . . .

N: Ahem. Er. 100 bucks an hour? Hello? Where was I . . . . oh yeah, I keep having this nightmare that I’m going upriver with Martin Sheen. We're looking for this dangerous village where they make crocodile wedgies by hand . . .

DS: What’s a crocodile wedgie?

N: What is this, a fashion lesson? God almighty. A crocodile wedgie is the bomb for spring shoes, doc. Comprendez? Anyway, the thing is, Martin Sheen. Doesn’t he realize I’m a liberal, deep down? I HATE seeing poor people. Really. They need more money. And I would have voted for Kerry, except that he does that lizard thing with his tongue. It was grossing me out. Like a frog. In and out, in and out.

DS: You're very political today, novella.

N: Yeah, well. My brain just went in that direction I guess. There's really no telling what will happen sometimes.
 
Peder said:
Yes, me too. But all of a sudden everyone has gotten so, like, normal on TBF. It's absolutely freaky! :confused:
Peder
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Know what you mean, Peder! :D

Maybe they have all received those happy pills and gone all zombie??!!
 
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