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The Therapy Thread

I know the feeling you describe. You surprise yourself by being quick-thinking and level-headed during the whole thing and then afterwards you start to realise exactly how many things could have gone so much worse than they did.

Some years ago I had an encounter with a wannabe rapist in a viaduct on my way home from the town. 'Twas night and I was slightly tipsy, thankfully I was clear-headed enough to knee him where it hurts the most when he tried to grab me, and then I ran. Wasn't until later I realised how stupid I'd been to not just get out of there before anything happened at all - he could have been quicker than me and have avoided my knee and whatnot...

I'm so grateful I've taken self-defense classes - 'tis highly recommended to all you girls/women out there, it's a nice thing to have in your backpack.
 
I'm not sure if im paying for it now for everything thats been getting at me was there prior to it. I directed my annoyance at the whole event at my father for he continously playing pranks and it's not on late at night. What form of self defense are you taking or is it one of those new generic ones(while i'm all for women learning self defense i have to retain purity and hold disdain for the mish mash of styles! :D)

No but seriously sucks bout what happened to you and :) you got outta there safe enough. Ugh rapists
 
Hey, Doc.

No, don't get up. I was just wondering if you had found a sandwich in here? I think I left it on the couch.

That novel lady might have thrown it out... she's so tidy.

Damn, that was my favorite sandwich, too.

Well, see ya' next time!
 
I'm just hoping Ms. is first in line at the bank with the check.

@Ms. - You need to get there EARLY! A line of people with checks from me will form soon. First-come-first-serve!
 
haha <3

*cashes cheque*

'it's still good it's still good'

*doesn't clear*

'i'lllllll get youuuuuu leckert!'
 
Ms. said:
I'm not sure if im paying for it now for everything thats been getting at me was there prior to it. I directed my annoyance at the whole event at my father for he continously playing pranks and it's not on late at night. What form of self defense are you taking or is it one of those new generic ones(while i'm all for women learning self defense i have to retain purity and hold disdain for the mish mash of styles! :D)

No but seriously sucks bout what happened to you and :) you got outta there safe enough. Ugh rapists
Click to expand...

I did Kung Fu for some years. Learned enough to be able to handle myself in a situation. Have done some Judo and Jiu-Jitsu when I was much younger, and I've done a bit of Capoeira as well... I've been around :p Kung Fu's my main, though. Only reason I don't do it anymore is I had a falling-out with the instructor, we had... differing views on certain things.

I prefer to keep the styles clean as well, but for women who only need to know some self-defense for practical reasons I'd say go for whatever is near you, doesn't matter what it's called, as long as it has the potential to save your life.
 
Ms. said:
leckert... you're a bit behind on this months payment
Click to expand...
I thought I was the shrink. First you steal CDs, movie passes, etc., and now you steal one of my identities? Sheesh... maybe your near-mugging was simply Karma.
 
sirmyk said:
I thought I was the shrink. First you steal CDs, movie passes, etc., and now you steal one of my identities? Sheesh... maybe your near-mugging was simply Karma.
Click to expand...

Kleptomania??:D
 
sirmyk said:
I thought I was the shrink. First you steal CDs, movie passes, etc., and now you steal one of my identities? Sheesh... maybe your near-mugging was simply Karma.
Click to expand...

Um, by the way, SirMyk...

You may want to hold onto that last check...

:eek:

I've got some payment stopping to take care of!

(edit: have you seen my sandwich?)
 
Hi Doc. How's it hangin?

Everyone in your waiting room is arguing. It's a zoo out there. Mind if I lock the door? That Swedish chick is kung-foo fighting the crap out of some poor slob. I'm going out the window when I'm done. Is it a long way down?

I like your socks. You can tell a lot about a person by socks choice. Argyle, like those, that means you're a secret cross-dresser, for guys. For girls it means you have a schoolgirl thing. Yellow and black, like those, is a struggle between good and evil. I wrote a book about sock psychology, see? Peds are all about indecision, when you can't commit to a full sock.

I saw Jill Clayburgh on the train yesterday. Boy can she yap. She seemed real busy. I'm predicting a come-back.

Okay, issues . . . issues . . . oh yeah, are there any drugs you can give me that will make everything better? I just want a general I'm good/you're good type pill to raise my tolerance for all the senseless violence, unbridled greed, and good old-fashioned stupidity in the world. And not one of those huge torpedo-size pills. When they get stuck sideways, it takes like a week to get it unstuck from the throat. No placebos, either. I'm onto you.

Time's up? Where's the pills?
 
"Doctor Smirk is very extremely busy right now. Please leave a message after the tone. Boop."

"Doc, it's me, novella. I'm out on the ledge. Can you open the window? It's kinda windy out here. I'm on my cell phone. I'm getting a great signal up here, very clear. All the little people look like chocolate sprinkles on cement.

C'mon open the window. I see you in there with that letch guy. Could you ask him to come back and talk about his bodily malfunctions later? I need to see you right away. Just kick him out for twenty minutes. Please?

I'm having a color crisis. I bought a boucle carcoat in Fresh Cantalope, but when I got it home it was more of a Sandy Peach or even Damp Parsnip with a horrific tinge of Fleshtone. I wanted to wear it with my new Aubergine velveteen kilt, but the ensemble looks like the things rotting in my vegetable drawer. Maybe I should just pin a lime with brown patches on the lapel.

knock knock knock.

Open up, doc. I know you don't specialize in color therapy, but this is an emergency.
 
leckert hears a rapping on the window. He interrupts the doctor's story of a bunny suit and crosses to the window, ignoring the shovel leaning in the corner behind the desk. He spies that "novel" woman on the ledge.

he pities her. he feels somehow responsible for her predicament; but, at the same time, he hopes she jumps.

he opens the window with every intention of pushing her, but her babbling of color and rotted fruit melts his heart...

he sticks his arm out the window, towards her.

You wanna bite o'my sanwich?
 
(climbs in window)


Er, no thanks. I don't eat in front of other humans. It's unfeminine. Except for olives and small pieces of candy. Oh oh goody. Is this Group, doc? I never did Group. But I watched it on TV. I know what to do. You get to accuse other people of stuff, right?

Dibs on the couch. Letchy, you can have the ottoman. Don't worry, it's sturdier than it looks.

Aren't you supposed to talk about substance abuse in Group? Obviously the Letch has a cheese problem. I tried to sniff Elmer's glue once, but nothing happened. It smells like milk breath. Lucky I was already stoned on something or I woulda been disappointed.

Doc, you must have some serious pill stories, what with that cabinet over there. When you get bored do you just take a bunch?

(Letch takes out multitool and stealthily approaches cabinet.)
 
What?

I thought he might have a cough drop in there. *cough*

So, anyway... *smack, chew, burp*

What were you doin' out there on the window sill? You really are a loony, aren't ya? I'm just here to avoid jail time, but you are absolutely ape nuts, huh?

wow.

What's that like?

Do you, like, talk to yourself?

that's sooho coohool!

Hey, Doc... You got any milk over there?


leckert crosses his legs and stoops his butt to the ottoman. He miscalculates his position, and upends over the back edge of the stool. With his legs over his head, and the blood rushing into his face, he watches his sandwich fall into the air duct. His multitool scitters, scratching across the hardwood floor, under the couch where Novella is sitting
 
Hey doc, look! Letch has a multiple personality. Right now he thinks he's butthead. Hiya butthead! Must break glass, must break glass.

So, let's talk about my problems. I don't have much time.

Once I took a self-defense course and all it made me realize is that I could potentially use my frying pan to hit an intruder on the head, if I can get to the kitchen on time. I'm really no good on the hand to hand combat stuff.

Look, Letch is trying to talk. Isn't that cute? I think he's suffocating.

Anyway, I'm not paranoid. I just try to be on my guard, just in case. Fully monitoring my surroundings at all times. Is your office bugged, doc? Karl Rove and Scooter have been doing espionage on me since April. They have a file, The Novella Portfolio, top secret. They caught me on video emerging from a woodland glade with thistle burrs on my tights. They're as bad a paparazzi, tailing me around like two maniacs.

Look, down there. That's Karl Rove dressed as a hotdog seller.
 
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