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tree killer

C

chiangmaifalcon

New Member
Last 2 days I spent chopping down trees. It is hard work but I like to chop down trees. I like trees, actually, but sometimes you have to chop them down. In this case because roots will crack house and wall. One is a kapok tree, and another a hideous thorn tree. The whole trunk is covered with big throns. Bad for tree-huggers. Actually not killing kapok tree. Digging it up to give to this farang that wants it, for some reason.
 
Both trees were pretty big. Maybe 60 feet tall and quite big around. Here is some stupid stuff that happened. I cannot find an axe here so all I had to cut with was a 99 baht hatchet, which is about 3 dollars. It was solid 1 piece metal hatchet so even with gloves on, the sweat made it very difficult to hold plus it was dull. After chopping all morning I finally called this missionary from Iowa and asked him did he have an axe. He said yes and he came over with a hatchet. I said what is this? He said it is an axe. I said it is a hatchet. He said what is the difference? I said, you are from Iowa. How can you not know this?

After pulling up the stump from the kapok tree, which Iowa guy want to plant at his house, we chopped down thorn tree. I had pole saw and cut down the upper part of tree, but missionary says I can do it easier with hatchet. He stood on top of the wall and chopped tree. It came down before I thought it would, and I had to run like hell and just barely avoided being impaled by falling thorn tree. After tree came down, we had to drag it away and throw it over the wall into jungle, which was a bummer with all the thorns. Iowa guy was torn up bad by thorns. Looked like he was mauled by a tiger. As he was missionary, I am sure someone will make joke about thorns, but I will refrain.

After all the cuts and bleeding, wife comes up with hatchet and scrapes the thorns off the trunk. I said why didnt you do that before? She said you didnt wait for me.

This was not the end of this. After this fiasco, which took all day long, missionary says, "Bill has a chainsaw." Bill is another missionary who lives about 200 yards away. I said he shouldn't have told me this while I still had hatchet in my hand. Then it still wasn't finished as had to help missionary replant kapok tree stump, which weighed about 300 pounds, and unload the accursed thorn tree.
 
I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.


I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.

He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.

He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!
[talking]
What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!
[singing]
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
 
Maybe he (the missionary from Iowa) didn't know the difference between a hatchet and an axe because Iowa is nothing but corn fields and doesn't have many many trees.

It is interesting that someone would try and re-plant a tree of this size (appx 60 feet tall). Is this even possible?
 
I hate the word trees. It pisses me off. **** trees...ops...no, no...trees are nice. There are so nice that I will hug one tomorrow. And since trees don't were shoes, I will kiss their roots.

What will the neighbors think??
 
If this is not a joke, then some people here are obviously city people. You do not replant the whole 60 foot tree. You chop it down and replant the trunk. As long as the roots take hold, it will grow again.
 
Can't say that I've ever seen a stump regrow into a tree. Definitely the first time I've ever heard of someone transplanting a stump. Very interesting indeed.
 
Hugh it is interesting you do not know these things. The guy who told the Iowa guy to transplant the tree is the head botanist in charge of all the trees at the Royal Floral Exhibition here. My wife who has been a farmer all her life also helped transplant the stump. As long as the tree has roots and is still alive, it can be transplanted, like any plant. Of course although these people have done this for hundreds of years, they cannot know as much about agriculture as an internet forum guy from san Diego.

As far as the root system, it depends on the tree and also how it is treated, such as if the upper branches are trimmed, and how much water the tree consumes.
 
To be fair, I should add that this is not the ideal way to transplant a tree. if possible, it is best to transplant a whole tree. However we do not have access to the heavy machinery necessary to do this. When the stump is transplanted, it is by no means 100 per cent guaranteed that it will thrive. However, it is the commom practice here because as I said, farmers here do not generally have the money to be able to employ booms and flatbed trucks. I do not even know anyone with a chainsaw. For that matter, as I said before, most people do not even have an axe.
 
Is that a property unique to certain specific trees?

The reason I ask is that I have never seen an oak or an apple tree or a pine tree or a cherry tree grow back from a stump.
 
Yes it depends on the species of trees. Deciduous trees sometimes do very well, as do several types of fruit trees, such as mango and lime trees. I do not know about apple and cherry trees.
 
I am not from the city I live in a pretty rural area some may say "out in the country". I have re-planted trees (no where near 60 feet in height though) many times, with a very low success rate. Now I will admit I am not a botanist or an arborist but I will do some research prior to any plant relocation projects I may take on. I was told that to replant most wild ornamental trees you need to take the trees height divide it in half and that is how far you need to dig out from the trees trunk. So if you have a sapling that is 4 feet in height you will need to dig out a two foot radius from the tree's trunk to be able to get all roots.
Like I said these are ornamental trees in my area (dogwoods, maples, red buds, fruit trees etc.) I have never heard of a Kopac tree. I looked it up on line and yes the thorns look very intimidating, not sure I would enjoy cutting one of these down let alone trying to replant one.
Keep us informed on how this tree does after it is relocated.
 
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