violence vs. sex & children

[SFG75]

So here's a few examples:

What age would you say it's appropriate to let your child watch Scarface?

What age would you let your child listen to Eminem?

What age would you let your kid read a Penthouse Forum?

What age would you ley your child play that video game where the object is to carjack somebody, pick up hookers, and randomly kill people for points?
I think it's called Vice City or something like that?

What age would you feel comfortable letting your kid watch Jerry Springer?
Or listen to Howard Stern?

It's not so much about sex and violance, but about how graphic it's becoming. There's not much left to the imagination any more.

It's kind of funny really, the people who produce that stuff tend to be the strictest people on the planet when it comes to their children and the "art"(if you can call it that) that they produce.

 

[Kookamoor]

I feel that the fact that this stuff was normal for me made it less exciting and taboo. I don't care for weapons, I'm not violent, and to me, sex is sex. It's not something I ever engaged in unsafely because we were open about it in our house. Kids will come across that stuff one way or the other. If you make it run of the mill they are less likely to view it as something secret and rebellious.

I think the problem arises when the child, for whatever reason, has difficulty understanding the difference between what they see on film/tv and what is reality. I'd think most kids would accept this stuff, but what about if you're not sure or your child takes it too seriously.

I don't think there's a set age for anything. Some kids can probably handle violence at a very young age. It depends on the child. I think the most important thing is to talk to your kids and make sure that whatever they see they understand. You can't shelter your kids from this forever, and like mehastings said, you don't want sex and violence to become taboo subjects.

 

[Motokid]

I agree with Stewart and Novella. I don't have any kids, but I'm young and I was a kid recently. I look at how I was raised compared to how my friends were raised. My parents were divorced, my mom was pretty much on her own. My brothers and I didn't have a bed time, we went to bed when we were tired rather than when our parents were tired of us. We watched R rated movies with violence and sex while my mom was working. I feel that the fact that this stuff was normal for me made it less exciting and taboo. I don't care for weapons, I'm not violent, and to me, sex is sex. It's not something I ever engaged in unsafely because we were open about it in our house. Kids will come across that stuff one way or the other. If you make it run of the mill they are less likely to view it as something secret and rebellious.

This may not be a perfect analogy, but wouldn't it then make sense to allow your child to drink some alcohol, or smoke, or experiment with some drugs at home so that as they get older, and are around such things more, they won't have the notion that these things are all that interesting?

This notion of "well if I forbid "such & such" in my house they can just find it or get it behind my back" does not hold water with me. The difference is huge in my eyes. To allow something potentially harmful simply because you can't control the rest of the world is not, in my mind, acceptable parenting.

 

[novella]

This may not be a perfect analogy, but wouldn't it then make sense to allow your child to drink some alcohol, or smoke, or experiment with some drugs at home so that as they get older, and are around such things more, they won't have the notion that these things are all that interesting?

This notion of "well if I forbid "such & such" in my house they can just find it or get it behind my back" does not hold water with me. The difference is huge in my eyes. To allow something potentially harmful simply because you can't control the rest of the world is not, in my mind, acceptable parenting.

Knowing about something--through reading or the movies--and doing something are two completely different things. Kids should know about sex and drugs. It's commonly accepted now that the more you are frank with your kids about these things, the more likely they are to do the right thing and be open to talking with you. You seem to conflate the knowing and the doing into the same potentially unhealthy, harmful experience, when one actually has a preventative effect on the other.

 

[Motokid]

Knowing about something--through reading or the movies--and doing something are two completely different things. Kids should know about sex and drugs. It's commonly accepted now that the more you are frank with your kids about these things, the more likely they are to do the right thing and be open to talking with you. You seem to conflate the knowing and the doing into the same potentially unhealthy, harmful experience, when one actually has a preventative effect on the other.

My problem is with how pretty much all media glorifies things...especially sex.
As I said before...no matter how cool the fight scene might be, and how great the music track, on how awesome the choreographed martial arts are...the end result of most violence, outside of cartoon world, is usually death, pain, blood or all three.

Sex is very rarely shown as damaging. It's usually laughed about, shown and/or talked about with much glory and enthusiasm. Usually, the only time sex is portrayed in a negative light is through rape. I think it's way too easy for kids to be lured into a thought process that any of the dangers of sex are over-exaggerations made by parents and old people. Talk with a child 20 times a day about the potential dangers and pit-falls of sex, and then have the media and the outside world bombard them with opposing themes of wonder and excitement and it's hard for the parents to win that battle.

I am way more scared of my girls wanting to experiment with physical relationships than I am of them wanting to strike out violently against another living creature.

 

[mehastings]

This may not be a perfect analogy, but wouldn't it then make sense to allow your child to drink some alcohol, or smoke, or experiment with some drugs at home so that as they get older, and are around such things more, they won't have the notion that these things are all that interesting?

You're right. It's not the perfect analogy. Saying that is like saying "hey kid. here's a condom. go find some seven year old to put it in".

 

[leckert]

i don't know, i guess i would try to avoid violence!! but i think a lot of things come from the parents, when they are violent, the child just thinks its normal, it doesn't know better!!
hmm... i'm not really concerned about the sex stuff, i just think it is a part of life, but violence not!! we can survive without violence!!

I have just started to read this thread, so sorry if I am repeating someone here, but I had to comment, HD.

I don't think it is fair to say that a child "just doesn't know better". I think a lot of how a child reacts to violence is programmed into the damn DNA. The rest is an absolute choice. I saw a lot of violence growing up. First hand, though, not on a video game. At five, I knew my dad shouldn't be punching my mom in the mouth. However, I never chose to react violently when under stress. Children definitely know better. Some, though, are more inclined than others to act like they know better. I just cannot agree with a position that says children are not responsible for their actions because they don't know better. That just doesn't hold water.

okay, I'll finish reading, now!

 

[Motokid]

Here ya go:

sex on tv on the rise

I knew I was not just a paranoid father.....socially acceptable without showing the consequences....

"It found that 70% of shows had sexual content, ranging from a reference to full depiction, with five sex-related scenes per hour on average."

 

[WoundedThorns]

what's more dangerous, violence or sex? would you rather have your son kill someone or get his girlfriend pregnant?

 

[G4G]

what's more dangerous, violence or sex? would you rather have your son kill someone or get his girlfriend pregnant?

well, either way, your life's pretty much over...

 

[RitalinKid]

what's more dangerous, violence or sex? would you rather have your son kill someone or get his girlfriend pregnant?

Violence. That's proven by psychological testing. We learned about it in psych 101 back in the day.

 

[Motokid]

what's more dangerous, violence or sex? would you rather have your son kill someone or get his girlfriend pregnant?

I'm not sure you read through the thread? The question was which one is more dangerous to expose your child to in terms of media. Television, video games, music, and books and....

If I allow my children to hace access to any and all kinds of sexual materials, or all kinds of violent material which one is potentially more damaging and or dangerous to society?

 

[SFG75]

Do you think it's more harmful to children to be barraged with images of sex, or violence?

Television, movies,video games, the internet, books and music are all getting more graphic on both fronts. Which one would you prefer your child to be exposed to? Or should there be more censorship on both fronts?

Which one would you be more concerned about if you knew your child had access to it on a daily basis?

Apologies if this has been discussed at length in another thread.

Depends upon what you mean by violence. Kids play with guns, they fantasize one kid shooting another, that's life. I don't mind my five year old nephew sneaking behind someone on the WWII simulation game Day of Defeat and knifing someone in the back and then taking out another person yards away with a sniper rifle-he's very skilled at it. Does that mean he will grow up and replicate the virual feat at his school?, no!. There is a difference between play and a serious desire to harm people. The ironic thing? While kids play "army," they will show empathy towards a friend if that person falls and scrapes their knee. Sex is worse as it leads to earlier experimentation and perhaps even abuse as that is the way that many abusers gradually coerce their victims.