Are you offended - really????

[jenn]

this is a strange medium that we operate in. like reading, we get to fill in the blanks about the other members. one of the threads i started was about what we look like. it was not meant for people to post their own pics, but more of a dialogue in how we picture each other. tone of voice is lost too, and some of us are using a second or third language. i feel these are important things to keep in mind when posting and reading. someone will read this post and use their own imagined voice for me, their own idea of my looks, things that i have said in the past and that will influence their interpretation of what i mean. i feel that if we could just step back for a moment and say ok, what are they saying here, and then maybe ask for some clarification, before we pounce, then perhaps some sketchier threads would stay open a bit longer. and those with opinions in the not so popular catagory, might feel a bit more comfortable voicing them. it would make things awfully dull without them. who would argue with moto?

 

[sanyuja]

You would be really offended if somebody disagreed with your opinion? Why?

You dont see my point. I am not offended if somebody calls something crap which I really love!

I would be offended if they tried to be rude to me or insult me regarding the same.

I dont mind someone saying 'I think the book you liked is crap.' Feel free! No hassles!
But, dont say 'Dont be silly!' or 'How can you be so stupid to like that book?'

I am not offended by peopl's opinion, I am offended by their rudeness. I mentioned that in the begininning of my post.

You get the point?

 

[Motokid]

"who would argue with moto?"


I want anybody, and everybody to argue with me if they so please.
And I don't want them to water down what they have to say just in case it might offend me or somebody else.

 

[phil_t]

Moto, I disagree with everything you just said, you bad, bad man

Phil

 

[jenn]

i see what you mean. i loved pillars of the earth. but if you said to me, oh my god that book was terrible, how could you like something that bad? instead of oh i hated that book, i thought it was terrible. they are 2 very different statements.

 

[Motokid]

"'How can you be so stupid to like that book?"

That's different than what you said before sanyuja...

...and yes I understand.


edit: ...but I also understand that it would take way way more, and much much worse to offend me than it would to offend sanyuja and jenn based on what they've posted above. I guess I'm different, and I understand that also.
I don't see much difference in the two hypothetical posts jenn wrote. To me that just opens the door for more conversation.

 

[novella]

I'm new so I haven't seen a lot of the threads here and I didn't see the two in question, but one of the things I really liked about this forum was there's so many different people with varied opinions here. Everyone seemed so comfortable posting their views and I've enjoyed reading them, I've not been offended here at all.

I have left a board in the past because it got so ugly with name calling and personal attacks on members and mods alike that it was no longer enjoyable to go there, it was unfortunate and a lot of people left.

Hi Ronny,

Welcome to the forum!

Have you posted an intro in the members' introduction sections? I hope so, because your post here seems to be getting lost.

Just to clarify, there hasn't really been any big disagreement here. Motokid likes to start threads to discuss issues, and this is just one of them. It's just to air views, generate a little debate. The disagreements here tend to be of the mildest kind, very little vitriol.

Just pointing that out so you are not looking fruitlessly for the 'source' of this discussion.

See ya.

 

[Martin]

And I don't want them to water down what they have to say just in case it might offend me or somebody else.

That's just it. Say that a discussion started by you leads to someone wanting to post something rather offensive about religion. For you they won't need to 'water it down', but they should think to themselves, "Well, am I gonna offend several people and say that Christianity is a farce and Christians are gullibe fools, or am I going to tone down, and get the exact same point across in a slightly less confrontational way".

I hope most of you would go for the latter.

Cheers

 

[Sergo]

I hope that was a joke.

Errr... I had never been so serious. I am just a stupid businessman without good enough knowledge in English, so I may not understand fully what you are saying, or what could be understood from my own words by persons who master English from childhood.

 

[jenn]

Errr... I had never been so serious. I am just a stupid businessman without good enough knowledge in English, so I may not understand fully what you are saying, or what could be understood from my own words by persons who master English from childhood.

sergo, i am quite certain stewart was teasing you. you said humble opinion and i think he meant that your opinion is not humble, it is great. and that is why he included the smilie.

 

[Sergo]

You would be really offended if somebody disagreed with your opinion? Why?

If they said you were an idiot because of your opinion that might be different, but in the context of what you said I can't believe that would "really" offend you.

If I like Coors beer and somebody says it's crap should I be offended? I like it. I don't care if they do or don't. They can say it's crap. They can have an opinion. Why is an opinion offensive? I may not agree with the opinion, but I'm not offended by it.

Exactly. For example, when Motokid said that Vatican is not a country, and I said that yes it is, and repeated it several times - I didn't mean to insult Motokid, but just wanted to stress that in my opinion objective reality doesn't depent on opinions. And I was not insulted by him repeating his opinion once and again. It may be not funny, but there is nothing disastrous in it.

 

[Sergo]

sergo, i am quite certain stewart was teasing you. you said humble opinion and i think he meant that your opinion is not humble, it is great. and that is why he included the smilie.

Hi Jenn:

I have REALLY BIG business problems right now, so I naturally try to make fun of myself. It is a good way to cheer up for me.

 

[Stewart]

I am just a stupid businessman without good enough knowledge in English

Hey, our knowledge of Russian is not good. That's why we do not speak in Russian. So, consider yourself not stupid that you are attempting to communicate in another language.

I may not understand fully what you are saying

What I thought was a joke. The conversation had just slanted past people who feel the need to defend their opinions behind some method or other - usually i am only kidding or it's just what I think so when you closed your post with and that's my humble opinion I thought it was a joke targeting those people.

 

[sanyuja]

"'How can you be so stupid to like that book?"

That's different than what you said before sanyuja...

...and yes I understand.

Well, in my earlier post I had used the sentence 'Dont be silly. That book is crap.' And the stress was more on the first sentence, rather than the second one. S, in effect I was conveying the same thing.
Anyways, glad you see my point

And yes, I know you might not be offended by something that I might find very offensive. Thats why you are you and I am I. Right?

 

[jenn]

Hi Jenn:

I have REALLY BIG business problems right now, so I naturally try to make fun of myself. It is a good way to cheer up for me.

i understand. i do the same thing.

 

[Sergo]

Hey, our knowledge of Russian is not good. That's why we do not speak in Russian. So, consider yourself not stupid that you are attempting to communicate in another language.



What I thought was a joke. The conversation had just slanted past people who feel the need to defend their opinions behind some method or other - usually i am only kidding or it's just what I think so when you closed your post with and that's my humble opinion I thought it was a joke targeting those people.

OK Stewart - I like to call myself stupid in forums - that disarms people who want to call me so.

And your joke was lost on me for the reason I mentioned. Thanks for your help. Now I hope to be able to understand it better next time.

 

[Motokid]

That’s complete:

poop, poo, poo-poo, doodie, dookie, ka-ka, crap, feces, rubbish, nonsense, or bullshit.

…all mean the same thing in the end.

I believe it was Novella who pointed this out in a different thread once. So it’s up to the person reading to decide if the sentence is directed in anger, humor, sarcasm or whatever. It could even be condescending and insulting to use the word poo-poo in some cases, but that doesn’t really change the overall statement does it?

It’s just one persons opinion regardless of anything else, and all else. And even if it’s 10 peoples opinion what earth shaking difference does that really make in the grand scheme of things?

Attacking an opinion or thought in a forum is not a personal attack. Attacking an idea or philosophy does not destroy anybodies personal integrity. Almost nobody here knows anybody else personally, so how can anything be a personal attack?

If I said “you are stupid and your opinion is stupid and sucks you f’n moron” doesn’t that make me look like the bigger ass? Isn’t that a display of my ignorance?

I’ve lost the point I was trying to make….I guess I just wish people would not take things so seriously when we’re all here just to have fun, and learn some new things.

 

[hay82]

If I said “you are stupid and your opinion is stupid and sucks you f’n moron” doesn’t that make me look like the bigger ass? Isn’t that a display of my ignorance?

I my opinion it would, but to someone who already thinks that way about themselves, they would most likely be offended or perhaps just stop posting all together. Of course it's not possible to have a complet psychological profile of all the members of the forum, and it would be impossible to take all things into consideration.
I have no idea what makes people feel offended, I can sometimes stop myself from saying something misplaced, but often I don't really give it any thought. We could of course set up a new entry in the profile, What offends you? and then everybody would have to read what all the members have written there before posting.

 

[Stewart]

u r 411 teh sux0r

 

[Stewart]

Dumbass talk.