Are you offended - really????

[novella]

C'mon, Moto. A little common sense, please? How long would you stick around a forum if someone or more than one person, habitually reacted to your opinion like that? I wouldn't waste my time.

It's not about how silly you look when you are insulting. That really is way beyond the point. It's about creating and fostering an environment in which debate is open, fun, and somewhat constructive. At least for me.

I think personal attacks are really out of bounds, even if you totally disagree with someone. Calling their opinion "stupid" is rude and borderline behavior, calling another poster stupid is disgraceful.

I sometimes get frustrated with certain points of view that I don't agree with, and I am often guilty of saying the wrong thing, but personal attacks are always unwarranted.

 

[Stewart]

The only offensive thing I find is the poor ability people show to check their wording and/or spelling before they hit the 'post' button. Posts such as avater problems are completely offensive as they show the person making them doesn't consider the thoughts or opinions of others and would happily let them plough through their garbled text.

Non-English native speakers are not completely exempt from this - although they are given more margin for error - as they chose to post on an English speaking forum. For that, I commend them, but they've got to get it as right as possible.

 

[Motokid]

But closing a thread because one person gets offended is not an open environment. Letting some 10th or 100th percent of the forum population direct a conversation is not open.

I find the farce that is ”professional wrestling” in America to be borderline offensive at times, but rather than try to get it shut down or removed from my cable company I simply chose not to watch it. I don’t shut the TV off and declare all TV trash, I just find something else to watch.

And I do think I have common sense. I think in most cases everybody here has been quite well behaved and quite civil. I’ve not seen the type of attack I stated earlier, and if somebody did do something like that I’m sure more than a handful of members would quickly jump to the aid of the person being assaulted. I made the example extreme on purpose because that’s the kind of thing I’ve seen at other forums.

This forum is great. Filled with great people. I love having the conversations we've had, and will continue to have. I think we’ve lost good people for the wrong reasons. I’d prefer they discuss their problems rather than disappear with them, but I know that can't be helped.

 

[jenn]

The only offensive thing I find is the poor ability people show to check their wording and/or spelling before they hit the 'post' button. Posts such as avater problems are completely offensive as they show the person making them doesn't consider the thoughts or opinions of others and would happily let them plough through their garbled text.

Non-English native speakers are not completely exempt from this - although they are given more margin for error - as they chose to post on an English speaking forum. For that, I commend them, but they've got to get it as right as possible.

i am really guilty of this, however my only defense is i don't have time. i am usually trying to hit post before my one year old turns off my comp. or i am rushing to finish a thought before i need to assemble some lego. so i send my apologies and apologize for future poor spelling and grammar.

and i beg your indulgence on this matter.

 

[Stewart]

i am really guilty of this, however my only defense is i don't have time.

Not having time is never a defence though. I wouldn't turn up for work three hours late and say I wasn't in earlier because I never had time.

The very fact you are on here posting implies that you do have enough time.

 

[Zolipara]

Non-English native speakers are not completely exempt from this - although they are given more margin for error - as they chose to post on an English speaking forum.

So unless they keep a dictionary next to the computer they should not be allowed to use the majority of internet sites?

 

[novella]

i am really guilty of this, . . .
and i beg your indulgence on this matter.

You are not! You're actually pretty careful, I think, and usually finish your thoughts and they make sense. Your spelling is beyond reproach. I don't think you're who Stewie has in mind.

Any good stains today, jenn?

 

[jenn]

Not having time is never a defence though. I wouldn't turn up for work three hours late and say I wasn't in earlier because I never had time.

The very fact you are on here posting implies that you do have enough time.

au contraire, mon frere, i think social services is about to confiscate my computer if my kids eat any more crayons and other inedibles.
and i could use your work analogy for myself. i let my posting suffer so that i am not late for my real job.

novella, thank you. today i am in my clean jammies, wearing a leopard print bandana(what gang is that?) but it is true, my apron is stained and covered in flour and banana's. guess what i am up to.

and upon rereading my defenCe post saw a spelling mistake.LMAO

 

[Stewart]

and upon rereading my defenCe post saw a spelling mistake.

Not at all. Defence is the British spelling while defense is the American spelling.

 

[Motokid]

Hey! Isn't there about spelling and if it counts thread somewhere else?

You've pirated my thread into something about spelling....

....idiots...(please reference a Napolean Dynomite tone when reading idiots...)

 

[jenn]

Not at all. Defence is the British spelling while defense is the American spelling.

aah thanks. see i was also in late immersion for 8 years, and while my french is POOOOOOOOOOOR, my spelling sometimes suffers because of it.

but enough!! i will endeavor to persevere!!!!

GOSH!!!

 

[Kookamoor]

But closing a thread because one person gets offended is not an open environment. Letting some 10th or 100th percent of the forum population direct a conversation is not open.

But for every one person who complains, how many people stay silent?

The point is, this is a free medium for us to communicate - primarily about books, actually! But there are rules. Its one of the things we agreed to when we signed up. When a thread gets closed it just means 'don't discuss that any further here'. You're not being persecuted for your beliefs or being told you're not allowed to express your perspective. All of your thoughts are still online for people to see, even. If you want a no holds barred conversation there are other online forums for such a purpose, or you can PM someone you want to discuss it with further. I'm all for freedom of speech, but just because you're allowed to speak your mind doesn't mean everyone needs to hear it.

And as for 'don't click on the thread if you can't take it' argument (paraphrasing), well I might want to discuss an issue in a rational way, but when the tone of the argument becomes accusatory or crude and I perceive that people are making fun of my opinion, that is no longer a discussion.

One of the best things about this forum is how accommodating and nice everyone is. Yes, you express your opinions, but you are not 31337ist about accommodating new people. Everyone's input is valued no matter your join date, nationality etc. And when one is in the minority on an argument, people stick up for them - just because they want to lend their support.

 

[ruach]

I think alot of you are asking the wrong questions. You should be asking, "What happened around Decembrer 9, 2004; for the Powers That Be to update the membership agreement."

 

[jenn]

I think alot of you are asking the wrong questions. You should be asking, "What happened around Decembrer 9, 2004; for the Powers That Be to update the membership agreement."

no i don't think that is really the question. i mean it could be the anniversary of the date that the membership agreement is to be reviewed. i belong to 3 different committees and we annually review our terms of reference. i think all that statement does is place the "powers that be" meaning, darren and the mods in an us against them position, and that is not what this forum is about. bottom line is this is just a discussion about what offends and why. it's just p's and q's people. we all learned them in kindergaarten.

 

[mehastings]

If I like Coors beer and somebody says it's crap should I be offended?

I want anybody, and everybody to argue with me if they so please.
And I don't want them to water down

So let me get this straight... Watering down:
Arguments - no
Beer - yes

Just bringing this up cause I'm sure you were waiting on it. Failing to include smiley because well, I don't really care for them.

 

[Martin]

I think alot of you are asking the wrong questions. You should be asking, "What happened around Decembrer 9, 2004; for the Powers That Be to update the membership agreement."

No, no, the real question is, "Why is someone who has posted a total of 4 posts questioning our Membership Agreement?".

Cheers

 

[Martin]

The only offensive thing I find is the poor ability people show to check their wording and/or spelling before they hit the 'post' button. Posts such as avater problems are completely offensive as they show the person making them doesn't consider the thoughts or opinions of others and would happily let them plough through their garbled text.

Non-English native speakers are not completely exempt from this - although they are given more margin for error - as they chose to post on an English speaking forum. For that, I commend them, but they've got to get it as right as possible.

Oh, and by the way, this is just snobbish, plain and simple. Some people do get it as right as possible. If you can understand it, it will suffice.

Deal with it.

Cheers

 

[Hollis]

Hey everyone!

I personally haven't been offended on this forum and I'm usually the one who stands alone on most sides of the issues. However, because I am hormonal (gotta love being pregnant!), I know that I can get crabby or that my mood as a result of the day (work has sucked lately!) can color my responses and make me more confrontational than I would ordinarily be. I know I've been snappish before and I do sincerely apologize to anyone that accidentally got in the way!

In the past, I have been really timid about my beliefs and if they differ from most people's (which especially online, I've found they typically do), I've always kept silent. I don't know if it's a result of more confidence or simply maturity, but I'm not as afraid to share what I think like I used to be. However, if I see that I can't coherently express what I'm trying to say or I sense that I could end up getting annoyed or whatever, I'll simply leave a thread. I think it's silly to get worked up over discussions like that, so if I think there's a chance I might, why even go there? Besides, it's nice to be known as that crazy girl who always seems to go against the popular majority. Heh heh.

I do think some people's personalities can come on strong. I know the first few days I was around here, I'd read certain things and be taken aback. But the longer I was around, the more I saw how respectful people were and I began to love the quirks in all these strong personalities. It's really neat when you can be on a forum disagreeing with someone and still show them tremendous respect. I know I've experienced that here. That even when people are saying, "Hollis, I really don't think so!" they still respect me. I even had someone note me out of concern for one thread in a way they had responded. That meant a lot!

I guess while it'd be nice to all agree on everything, it'd get really dull really fast. I've been places where no one thinks for themselves. Or else, everyone is ALWAYS on the same wavelength. And I've been other places where people disagree, but so forcefully that they do turn offensive.

I know how hard it is to moderate such an active forum, to try to maintain the peace and please everyone. Keeping religion and politics out of everything is kind of hard for me because they both play a big role in who I am and because so many issues and events in this world and this life are entertwined with both religious and political beliefs. A little leeway in that rule might be nice, though I do understand that it can easily be abused, as those are things many people are so passionate about.

I guess to sum up, I do know that things can be taken wrong because it's sometimes hard to see the intent behind the text. You can read the words, but then because you don't get the prosody or inflections, you might miss what's REALLY being said. I know I've certainly been guilty of that throughout the several years I've been online and I'm sure everyone else here has to. But I think with the amount of respect everyone seems to have for each other and the level of maturity the posters here have, it's all good. And THAT'S coming from the hormonal woman who usually stands alone! lol

 

[«FickleMinded»]

But see...constantly having to place qualifiers and happy faces is part of what I'm talking about. If you're always worried about what every person in the forum may or may not think about what you have to say how well are you going to be able to get your point across? You're letting political correctness guide your post for fear of offending someone.

--and now that you mentioned this "politically correct" terms,i think others prefer to be more careful not bec they are afraid of offending anyone,but just to have a peaceful conversation, and since this is only a virtual conversation, you have to be clear w/ what you really mean,unlike when were talking,our voice tone have a big part of what we really mean.
just like me sometimes, i was wondering if a person is just kidding or serious with the thing he said, i have to ask first,"are you kididng or what"? not unless I know them personally,i have no problem understanding what they mean,but since I don't, i have to asked first to fully understand it.

 

[«FickleMinded»]

The only offensive thing I find is the poor ability people show to check their wording and/or spelling before they hit the 'post' button. Posts such as avater problems are completely offensive as they show the person making them doesn't consider the thoughts or opinions of others and would happily let them plough through their garbled text.

--if a simple spelling like that really annoys you, how much more when they used the text spelling method, have you heard about those terms, lyk for like, c u as see you,l8ter as later, etc etc..i hate people who type like that knowing that they have a qwerty keyboard,if they are in their cellphone,i can tolerate that,but for goodness sake, they have a complete keyboard and you don't have to pay per character.

Non-English native speakers are not completely exempt from this - although they are given more margin for error - as they chose to post on an English speaking forum. For that, I commend them, but they've got to get it as right as possible.

--thank you very much.