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Are you offended - really????

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"just like me sometimes, i was wondering if a person is just kidding or serious with the thing he said, i have to ask first,"are you kididng or what"? not unless I know them personally,i have no problem understanding what they mean,but since I don't, i have to asked first to fully understand it."

That's part of my point. I'd rather people ask questions directly if something hits them wrong, instead of pm'ing a moderator and having a thread closed.

People (me for instance) may not realize something posted could be ticking somebody off. I'd prefer the chance to explain myself. I'd prefer that somebody ask me what the hell I was thinking when I typed that particular post.
 
And now that I've thought about it some more...

What's the difference between pissed-off and offended?

I wonder how many of the threads are closed because somebody has just gotten angry at the direction the thread goes, and decided to pm somebody that they are offended?

Is there a definitive distinction between the two classifications of emotion?

Can I offend somebody without pissing them off?
Can I piss somebody off without offending them?

What distinquishes the two?
 
There's a world of difference between feeling hurt (offended) and feeling angry (pissed off).

And for the record: it takes a PM for the mods to start discussing that particular thread - it takes a whole lot of debate before we decide to really close it. There's more to it than that one PM.

Cheers
 
Martin,

I'm not suggesting that the mod's go about closing threads with a happy face and a quick click. Enforcing rules all willy-nilly just for the fun of it. I've been surprised at what you've (the mod's) let happen a few times, and I appreciate it a lot.

What I'm trying to understand is what is offensive. I have not witnessed what I consider to be offensive since I've been here. I think everybody in this forum goes the extra step to consider others opinions.

If anything I was hoping that somebody would provide clear examples of things that are/were offensive, but so far everybody is stating this forum is pleasantly civil, and fun.

To me, if I find something irritating in a thread I have two choices. Don't open the thread anymore, or dig in to see if I can understand what's being discussed or made fun of, or whatever. I would never dream of trying to close a thread that others are participating in.
 
If anything I was hoping that somebody would provide clear examples of things that are/were offensive, but so far everybody is stating this forum is pleasantly civil, and fun.
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That's very difficult, because it's completely subjective - things you can shrug off will offend others deeply, and things you are offended by, others laugh about. It's completely different for each and every individual person, each with their very own custom-made beliefsystem. In short, there's no definitive answer to that question.

To me, if I find something irritating in a thread I have two choices. Don't open the thread anymore, or dig in to see if I can understand what's being discussed or made fun of, or whatever. I would never dream of trying to close a thread that others are participating in.
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Yes, that's you. I do expect people to think long and hard before sending that PM, and I imagine they do. Therefore, we do take the PM's seriously - if someone is upset enough to go out of his/her way to send a PM to us (instead of simply leaving or something), then we have the obligation to look at that particular case more closely.

Cheers
 
Errrr... don't you think this thread has been there for too long?
I think we are over-stretching it!

PS: No! I am not putting any smilies.
 
Stewart said:
Are you suggesting we should close it? I'm offended.
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No! I am not suggesting that we close it.
All I am saying is we should stop ranting about the same thing over and over again.
 
"Errrr... don't you think this thread has been there for too long?
I think we are over-stretching it!"

You're probably right...it's way more important that we keep threads like what sports do you like, and alphabetical book titles alive and kicking...

oooohhh....living on the edge with those.....


:p :D :) :rolleyes: :cool: :cool: :) :) :D :p
 
"Fluff is fun -- fun is good."

So is tough, biting, soul searching, enlightening, serious, thought provoking, questioning, difficult, and at times anger inducing.

At least some of us think so.....
 
Motokid said:
You're probably right...it's way more important that we keep threads like what sports do you like, and alphabetical book titles alive and kicking...

oooohhh....living on the edge with those.....


:p :D :) :rolleyes: :cool: :cool: :) :) :D :p
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I am not saying that threads like sports or aplhabetical book titles add any value to this forum or anybody. This forum is about books and I can see that most of the people don't ever enter any book discussion. Again, I do not have a problem with that.

All I am saying is its just plain fact that people differ in taste, attitude, thinking style and anything that you can think of. How can one generalise what is offensive? There is no point in raising that question because we all know that offence means different things to different people.

All are mature enough to understand what can be offensive and refrain from stating it. I don't think its hard to do unless ofcourse somebody intends to offend somebody.

I do not have a problem whether a mod closes this thread or this thread goes on for centuries. I just felt that it was dragging too long. I can always choose not to read this thread and thats what I am going to do!
 
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