Defined by our job

[jenn]

i still disagree that it is judging someone. it is informative, it is a part of your life. whether you find it an interesting or dull part is informative. it can lead to a whole range of other topics. to me it is a bridge to other aspects of the person. it is a generic bridge granted, but that makes it safe and comfortable.

 

[jenn]

Hmmmm, you make some good points.

Well, still... I do think that it's rather pointless to ask about what you do for a living and that people attach importance and judgment to it.

Anyway, I would never ask about such pointless things as the weather. I don't do "small talk" for me it's pointless. I guess I am just being odd. I normally see things differently to most people

so how would you approach me, having just been introduced. and isn't asking about my hobbies judgemental too. what if i was a brain surgeon but in my free time liked to write harlequin romance novels. wouldn't you make assumptions about my character either way?

 

[Wabbit]

Actually, no I wouldn't make any judgement at all. Whatever you want to do is fine. It's your life and it's up to you. What right would I have to think you should live your life in any other way that you want to do it?

 

[novella]

so how would you approach me, having just been introduced. and isn't asking about my hobbies judgemental too. what if i was a brain surgeon but in my free time liked to write harlequin romance novels. wouldn't you make assumptions about my character either way?

I only judge people by their avatars, or in real life by their shoes.

 

[Wabbit]

lol I like to wear big black boots with lots of buckles on them. What does that say about me?

 

[Jenem]

I only judge people by their avatars, or in real life by their shoes.

i have always found shoes to be the most accurate way to judge people

 

[jenn]

oh god you should see my shoes....
but no what i mean is, we form opinions about people regardless of the information given, be it from their job, their hobbies, their friends, what they read what they eat etc. it isn't a bad thing, it is how we relate to one another. i don't mean that you are judging me(you might if you saw my shoes) just forming an opinion about who or what i am.

 

[novella]

lol I like to wear big black boots with lots of buckles on them. What does that say about me?

That you're not quite so light on your feet as your avatar. Also that you want to be a Pilgrim.

Do you have long curly hair and a clay pipe as well?

 

[Marquis Rex]

Something that I read in a book, and also the "what is your occupation" thread had me thinking. The character in the book hates to be asked "what do you do?" and I hate that question too. It seems such a pointless question for me.

It seems to me that this question is a dinosaur. In the old days when people had a trade, and a job for life, and less leisure time people defined themselves by their job. You were a baker, or you were a engineer, or you worked the railroad, or you were a banker, and so on. Now these days you can't expect to be in the same job for life and are lucky to be in it for more than 5 to 10 years. Now we all have more leisure time. There are so many hobbies and interests that can be pursued and with the Internet a whole world of learning, communication, and self expression.

So why do you still feel the need to ask this question? I certainly am not defined by my job. My job is something I do to earn money. I go there. I come home again. That's the end of it. My job has nothing to do with who I am or what I think.

Why is this question still asked? Isn't it a pointless one? And before anybody says "it's polite conversation, and something to talk about" OK, granted, maybe it is! But there are lots of things you could say to make conversation that have some meaning, because I feel this one doesn't!

I have to TOTALLY agree with Novella on this one.
YOU'RE the one, Wabbit, making the big assumption that one is being judged here ( yes I know you'll deny it and say "you're wrong").

Anyone reading your post would think that you were insecure or defensive.

It's interesting to find out what one does for a living. You're spending half your life there- it will have an effect on the kind of person you are.

I'm fortunate that I'm very passionate about what I do for a living.
If I met someone who did something they were passionate about- then I would find that interesting and think that person was also fortunate also.
It wouldn't matter if they were passionate about being a culinary chef or land scape gardening. It has NOTHING whatsoever about judging someone and pidgeonholing them into a class. That notion only comes from the interpretation of insecurity.
Someone in a specialist field- such as a scientist, engineer or doctor will STILL typically stay in that field- it's unlikely they'll change as indicated. Knowledge of certain fields should be maintained. It has noting to do with snobbery.
These days it is obviously a crime to be professional or educated/wanting to learn/aspirational- it's incredible.

 

[bobbyburns]

you seem somewhat defensive yourself, rex.

Anyone reading your post would think that you were insecure or defensive.

 

[Wabbit]

I have to TOTALLY agree with Novella on this one.
YOU'RE the one, Wabbit, making the big assumption that one is being judged here ( yes I know you'll deny it and say "you're wrong").

Anyone reading your post would think that you were insecure or defencive.

lol you are right. I am going to say you are wrong

No, you misunderstand me. I am not speaking from "my point of view" I do not think people are judging me! This is not about me! It's not personal. It's an academic question.

I simply don't care what I do. I have nothing to be defencive or insecure about at all As I said, I don't define myself by my job so why would I care what people should think?

All I am dong is wondering why people in this age still ask the question and it should be so important? Novella answered it for me somewhat in one of her posts. I still do think that a lot of people attach importance to that question. Why would it be one of the first things they ask a person?

I am just observing people and wondering. This is not about me

 

[Marquis Rex]

Wabbit, well may be if someone spends 8 hours a day/ 37 hours a week doing something, some people might be interested in knowing what that is they do.

I think it's always nice when someone enjoys what they do for a living, albeit rare. More often than not a job is just a job to many these days....and that's the way it goes.

 

[Wabbit]

I guess it's partly me. I just don't care what people do. *shrugs*

Anyway, I still feel the question is pointless and a judgmental one

 

[Phedre]

I think asking someone about his/her job is just one of those things called 'people skills'. I don't care as much about someones job either, unless I'm really interested in that person. In that case I want to know a lot more than just the job. It's more in the importance-category of 'haircolour'. When I think of that person, it's like 'Oh, that's the taxidriver with blond hair'. It's just one more eigenschap/kenmerk (damn, don't know the english word) for that person.

My job is important to me, I work in a bookstore and of course I love books. But it is not something that defines me. The love for books is defining. That's more important to me. It's not like I can read all day at work. I have to help silly customers and do dumb chores.

I'm making no sense at all.....

 

[hay82]

I would like to have a job that would help define me. I wouldn't want my job be just something I do to get the money.
I don't really think we can help judging other people by whatever information we have about them, and if the information you have is what they do then thats a part of how you see that person.

 

[Phedre]

I don't really think we can help judging other people by whatever information we have about them, and if the information you have is what they do then thats a part of how you see that person.

That's what I tried to say with the 'blond taxidriver' thingy. It's just that your job can be a tiny part of you or a big part.

 

[funes]

Man, this is so freaky. I was just talking about this to somebody last week. I have always hated conversations that begin with "So, what do you do?". When I was newly graduated from college, I got this all the time. It wasn't that it bothered me if people asked - it just bothered me if it was the first thing that people asked.
I remember being at the shore with a friend in a house being sublet by a bunch of corporate youngsters. They kept asking me because i think that they secretly suspected that I was vagrant who had been picked up along side the road.
It's not that i am not interested in other people's work - it's just that it isn't the first thing I'd asked about either.

 

[Wabbit]

I'm so bad at explaining things! This is what I was trying to say! Thank you!

It's that it's the first or one of the first things they ask you! There are so many other questions to ask and yet this question has so much importance to it!

 

[Motokid]

Most people will work for around 40 years of their lives. Including time to get ready to work, and time to get home, and time at work many spend 10+ hours a day doing this. That’s a significant part of your life.

Some people have a “calling” in life to do a particular job. They love what they do and in most cases probably don’t get paid enough to do it, but they love the job so much they don’t care. I know some teachers like this. My wife works for a pediatrician like this. He could have retired years ago, but loves helping kids so much he continues to work. I had a friend in school who from 7th grade on knew exactly what he was going to be when he grew up. He had it all planned out from 7th grade, and he followed that plan. That to me is astounding.

I’m fascinated by what people do and why they do it. Are they happy, or are they just doing it for the money?

It’s a piece of the puzzle that makes the person. In some cases it’s a large piece, and in others it’s a small piece.

It’s a real shame that some people would go through life working a job they hate. I’m looking for the stories from people who passionately love their job. Those are people I want to hear from. Why do they love it? What is it about that particular job and when did they realize they had a love for it? I envy those people. That's why I asked the question.

 

[direstraits]

Okay, I'm a little dismayed over this because Wabbit hit me right on the head for this one. He may have to rummage thru his PMs to know what I'm talking about (it was some time back), but I know Wabbit doesn't mind it, he's a great guy. [laugh]

A little background - where I come from, it's very common to ask what you do for a living. It's not considered rude. In fact, it's one of the first things to ask when you meet new people, even in social gatherings like Toastmasters.

Then not too long ago, a relation from Australia talked about how Aussies didn't like being asked what they do for a living. So I minded that, filing it away for use when I'm trying to have a conversation with people (albeit a little late for my buddy Wabbit [laugh]).

Yes, there are people who judge you from your job. But I don't, and when I tell it to a person I take it in good faith that you don't as well. Scratch that - I don't even think of the possibility that you'd be judging me. But if you do, well... okay. Whatever.

Personally it was always a good starting point for conversations for me - I know virtually nothing outside IT, and it's always bloody interesting to know what other people do for a living.

"You're in IT? Good, we have anything in common?"
"You're a zoologist? Way cool! How do you get about your daily work?"

I've always wanted to know what an editor has to do to approve a piece of writing, or what a chemical engineer does sitting in the lab all day.

ds