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Defined by our job

Cathy C said:
This is an interesting topic, because I've never really considered the question before. I guess that when I ask a person "what do you do" upon meeting them, I'm asking for parameters for our continued discussion. The direction small talk is going to take is often dependant on what a person does for a living. If I'm standing next to a person at a party and ask the question, and the response is something that I'm diametrically opposed to or have zero knowledge of (with no interest in learning), I'll stick with the weather for our conversation. I might respond "Oh, that's interesting! What do you do in your spare time?" (meaning: "I have no interest in your job. Tell me about something else.")

All talk with strangers is positioning. You're seeking common ground to stand on, in case you're stuck in the lift with him/her for the next ten hours. You're seeking a potential friend to share ideas, or even a potential lifemate. No "small talk" with strangers is "small." It's all for our own personal benefit and to satisfy our own curiosity. Why else talk to strangers?

So... Wabbit -- what do you do? :D
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LOL I was waiting for somebody to ask me that... it took awhile.

I think I already said. I am a lion tamer/ninja/pirate and space adventurer :cool:

[ small print: Really I work in a warehouse, but don't tell anybody. :p ]
 
SillyWabbit said:
:eek:

Have you been talking to Raven again?! He is a bad influence on you! Go to your room young man! :D
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Well, you know me! :p

Incidentally, I think that the place you work at has a huge influence on who you are and how you act. I also work in a warehouse, and I can tell you that as it is practically a solely male domain there is a lot of male banter, a lot of swearing, and machismo, that sort of rubbish - when I get back from work I bring that with me, which I know Ice hates, but its very difficult to knock yourself out of that mindframe. It does affect the way I live my life, and the way I see others and others see me.

I was having a similar conversation with a guy at work a few weeks ago - he says that it takes about three or four days to knock yourself out of that kind of thinking, of going back to being 'who you were' and relating to yourself and your family better. As you rarely get that much time off, its easy to see how such a situation can change your outlook. Some people have the ability to switch off after work, I dont think I'm one of them, certainly not in an immediate way. I wouldnt say that I ever think about work when I'm not there (except maybe, 'damn I have to go to work in an hour', which is what I'm thinking right now'), but it does have a way of influencing your life.

Now, enough rubbish from me :D

Phil
 
So true that we are influenced by the work we do.

My brother was a Classicist who worked on a trading floor for several years. He transformed from a gentle intellectual to a raucous pig in a very short time. And when he quit that work he morphed back into a human!
 
novella said:
I only judge people by their avatars, or in real life by their shoes.
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how do you judge people by there shoes?? i mean i look at the shoes too, mostly right after i looked in their face, but i don't judge them, i make assumptions!! and i'm always interested how other people do that!! :D
 
This topic came up at a gathering this weekend and I have to say I have changed my mind a lot over this last year on how my work defines me.

I have worked in mortgage/foreclosure for 11 years my mother started me in high school at one of her branches and it was a good career, I was good at it made good money and steady promotions. I never thought much of my job it was what all the women in my family do and I thought all in all I enjoyed my it. I was moving my way up the ladder just had a huge promo and raise when my son the started to get ill and my husband was deployed. I chose to take at least a year off and stay home, volunteer at the school and just be with my son.

Over this year my life has changed a lot and I've noticed people treat me different as well. Some of that is just appearance, I now wear jeans instead of suits, I skip doing hair, make up and nails everyday and have a more casual look. But I've notice the way people make assumptions about my lack of employment as well, some tend to talk down to me and others disregard me all together, which can be annoying.

It has changed many of my personal relationships as well, I was the main income in the house and now I'm not, a lot of the socializing I do with my family & friends revolved around work because we all worked together and so now I'm out of the loop. I have a whole new set of friends and hardly see many of the old ones. A lot of the travel we did was work related, as well as the parties, so I'm finding this year that there was much more to work for me than just an income.

On the other hand when my mom asked if I would be coming back this fall, I told her I was still undecided and that I probably would not. I'm not sure at this point what else I would like to do but it is fun thinking of doing new things. I do hope this attempt goes better than the last, when I left home at 17 and ended up waitressing at Denny's and living in the crappiest room with the roomates from hell.
 
This is a interesting topic that Ronny dug up. I find that I identify myself with so many things before my job, but other people often judge me by my profession before learning other things about me. People tend to look down on people in EMS as uneducated folk who aren't intelligent enough to be doctors or nurses. To become a registered nurse you have to get an associates (2 year) degree. To become a medic you spend about the same amount of time, but you only get a certificate. An EMT spends even less time. So, a lot of nurses talk down to us or treat us like inferiors. The interesting thing is that well over half of us at our base have bachelor (4 year) degrees and a few more have or are working on graduate degrees. We all have other things we could be doing where we would get more respect or more money. We choose this career because we want to make a difference in people's lives.

I judge people by their shoes too. Shoes say a lot about what type of person you are. We have to wear a uniform which includes all black soled shoes (boots are suggested) with laces. Yet, no two pairs of shoes look alike. Some are shined regularly, others are falling apart. Most people wear full length boots, but a few people wear short boots or black sneakers. My boots are full length, have scuffed toes and zip up the sides. The laces are pristine and double knotted. My shoes say that I enjoy my job and take pride in it, but it's not my life. They say that I'm a hard worker but that I also sleep at work.
 
Shoes??? I have never even thought about looking at people's shoes to get a glimpse of their character...LOL...

I think that people do tend to make assumptions about others based on what they do for a living. I find this happening even within a profession...for example, I am a Licensed Practical Nurse and often people will ask me "why don't you go back to school to be an RN? You could make more money as an RN" My usual answer is...I like what I do, I became a nurse because I love people and I work in geriatrics by choice, not because I can't work elsewhere. I want to spend my time with my residents, develop long term relationships with them, not spend my days supervising others or working behind a desk, which is where most RN's end up. I always feel like their assumption is that because I am an LPN that I am not a good enough nurse to be an RN.

I don't mind people asking me what I do, I like to talk about my work and I try and respect what other people do as well. I do think some people ask because they want to know your "status"...are you worthwhile to know? I guess I count that as their problem, not mine.
 
This is such an interesting topic for me because, like Wabbit, I always held to the idea that we aren't defined by the job that we do, it doesn't make us what we are as people. But that was when I actually had a job, one which I loved, one which I seemed to be made for, a job that I did well.
Then I moved away from the UK to a country with a totally different culture, a language that I wasn't really proficient in, and of course, no job. My sense of identity, or what I saw as my identity came into sharp focus, simply because I could no longer take it for granted. It was like starting from scratch and I was very much aware that I had a need to tell people about my job in the UK to try and show them the sort of person I am. How ridiculous! It made me think that maybe my problem had been that it was me that defined myself by my work, and I had relied on it for years to define me to other people. This was born out by the fact that most of my friends were colleagues, and my social life revolved around my place of work.
In the past three years I have become far more aware of myself as a person in my own right, kind of stripped back down to the bones in a way, and have learnt to express myself in other ways, rather than fall back on ''...well this is what I do for a living, so that should tell you everything about me...''
I still don't believe we are defined by the job that we do, it can say a lot about us, but not everything.Like most things, its finding the right balance and not losing touch with ourselves.
 
Maybe a job defines you less in the UK or America than in other places. Where I come from, people don't study English to do something in the City. If that's what they want to do, they study Economics or similar courses. Most people are what they want to be (or remain unemployed).

Maybe that's why I cannot help judging people a little according to what they do. I am OK with freezers and warehouses, but in most cases, when someone says I am a lawyer or a banker, I am off.

Novella, if you had a really painful corn, you would now not to judge people by their shoes. :)
 
what you do for a living

wabbit is so right you work to earn money and no one should judge you by your job it dosnt make you what you are as a person,theres more to you than your job! :rolleyes:
 
ruby said:
wabbit is so right you work to earn money and no one should judge you by your job it dosnt make you what you are as a person,theres more to you than your job! :rolleyes:
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However, "should" and "do" are different bananas! It still happens, whether it is right or not, so we must deal with that. Saying "It isn't right" doesn't make it stop happening. If you don't want to be judged by your job, then either get a new one, or don't tell people what yours is. Judgement happens, that's life.

Personally, when someone asks me what I "do", I tell them that I spend most of my time trying to figure out the mind of a 10 year old girl, playing the guitar, and writing. Those are some of the things that define me. I am a Defense Contractor, and Salesman to finance those things (and my wife's shopping habit).

what I find interesting is not that people ask the question "What do you do", but that we all feel compelled to answer it by telling them what our job is.

I think a better, more telling, and probably more accurate answer would be "I watch a little TV, read a lot, write a lot, play with my kids, and go fishing when I can. What do you do?"
 
Sorry to double-dip, here, but...


I think there are still those who do identify themselves not by their job, but by their work.

If you own a bakery, and are a baker, and love to bake, and came from a long line of bakers, then you may want to be known as a baker. I think there is still a small-and-shrinking group of craftsmen, artisans, and specialists who are proud of what they do and do identify themselves with their trade or craft.

I think that is an awesome thing.
 
leckert said:
Sorry to double-dip, here, but...


I think there are still those who do identify themselves not by their job, but by their work.

If you own a bakery, and are a baker, and love to bake, and came from a long line of bakers, then you may want to be known as a baker. I think there is still a small-and-shrinking group of craftsmen, artisans, and specialists who are proud of what they do and do identify themselves with their trade or craft.

I think that is an awesome thing.
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My husband is a chef, always has been, always will be. It's in his blood, it says everything about him and he is immensely proud of that. He has acheived so much despite having no formal education at all and coming from a very poor and isolated country. He is right to be proud and yes it is an awesome thing.
 
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