Differences Between Men and Women?

[novella]

Okay, we know the obvious ones!

So, aside from the physical, what have we got? (All these are really true, of course .)


1. Women cite distances in minutes, men in miles. How far is the next town? Her: “Twenty minutes.” Him: “Ten miles.”

2. Men respond to visual, women to verbal.

3. Men use machines as an extension of their physical selves. Women use machines as foreign objects they have to master.

4. Women work better in nonhierarchical, cooperative groups than men do. Men work better with strict chains of command than women do.


Any of these really get up your nose?

 

[Phedre]

If those 4 statements are true, I'm half male...

 

[Halo]

Well, I cite distances in miles. I think number 2 is generally correct (although I'm thinking of a certain thing here ), and I would agree with 4. I don't know about 3, I suppose it depends on the person, but then again that applies equally with them all. Where did you get those from, novella?

 

[novella]

Where did you get those from, novella?

I made them up! Well, based on some personal experience . . .

Do you have any interesting prejudices and generalizations to contribute?

I do, of course, realize that these are exactly that, but I'm interested to hear your personal observations of the differences.

5. Middle-aged men experience a powerful urge to build, while women of the same age want smaller, simpler spaces. (the Mansion v. Cottage problem)

 

[Stewart]

WOMEN'S ENGLISH


1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need... = I want.

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = I need to complain

7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to

8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive

15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like


MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question

8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you.

13. You look tense let me give you a massage = I want to have sex

14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

 

[Motokid]

I love that list, and I'm trying to figure out why I didn't get that when I hit puberty?

 

[Ice]

If those 4 statements are true, I'm half male...

Same here

I agree with 2 & 4 (to a certain extent), but like Halo I think of distance in miles rather than time and I love using/fixing machines

 

[Phedre]

Haha, that's funny, I disagree with 2 and 4 and wouldn't know how to think of distance. I'm always way off (is that correct for 'I never give the right answer?'). And I'm quite bad in teamwork. See the EQ-topic.....

I have nothing against machines, but I don't like it when they don't work.

 

[novella]

And I'm quite bad in teamwork.

If you put three women in a kitchen and tell them to bake a cake, the first thing they will do is discuss at length what kind of cake to bake, where they learned their recipes from, which one tastes the best, what ingredients they have on hand, etc. After they agree on a cake they will let whoever came up with that idea to make it while they talk about other women and, of course, men.

Three men put in a kitchen told to bake a cake, the alpha male will tell the most passive male to go look up Plain Cake in a cookbook and read out the instructions. He will then tell the third guy what to do and take all the credit for "managing the team." Gordon Ramsey anyone?

 

[jenn]

i find that a lot women become soooooo frustrated with men because they expect men to respond and behave in ways women would. while men confess they do not understand us, they would never expect a woman to behave or react the way a man would.

stewart's list is funny and i admit to behaving that way on occasion. not so much now as i am married to a man, live with a male border and have 2 sons. it is just WAAAAAAAY easier to say what you mean as opposed to making everyone guess.

 

[honeydevil]

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
MEN'S ENGLISH
15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

this is awsome!!

anyway, in my experience, woman are more calm when they drive, while men would love to take their 9 mm and shoot the guy in the car in front of them. but it is a whole lot more fun to drive with men!!

 

[Jbug]

Okay, we know the obvious ones!
1. Women cite distances in minutes, men in miles. How far is the next town? Her: “Twenty minutes.” Him: “Ten miles.”

This is so true!
My husband gets frustrated with me when I read a map and he asks how long to a certain place and I say "3 inches", 'cos that's what it looks like on the map. For some reason I don't do the inch/mile conversion in my head when he asks

One more thing, many women give directions in landmarks while men use street names. A woman will say "turn at the red house with white shutters" while a man will know the cross streets and distance from the last intersection and will have no idea there even is a house on the corner.

 

[Crystal]

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question

8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you.

13. You look tense let me give you a massage = I want to have sex

14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

(don't have more than 10 characters' words to say... .)

 

[Ice]

Those lists are so true!

 

[Wabbit]

No, these rules are true

RULES FOR MEN

1. The Female always makes The Rules.

2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. (If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)

7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)

8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.

14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.

15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.

16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.

17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!

 

[Ashlea]

One more thing, many women give directions in landmarks while men use street names. A woman will say "turn at the red house with white shutters" while a man will know the cross streets and distance from the last intersection and will have no idea there even is a house on the corner.

This is something I was going to point out too, men are always asking me to orient everything north/south/east/west, and I'm saying turn left, turn right, there's a _________ on the corner.

 

[Phedre]

I wouldn't know where south was if I was standing on the South Pole. I never know streetnames, except for the one I live in....

 

[Ice]

Very good Wabbit

 

[novella]

Anyone notice the crosstalk thing happening here? which sort of illustrates some relevant point . . .

 

[honeydevil]

hey wabbit!! i wish my life would go this way, but no... !!! i like men mostly better than females!! i mean if you have a fight with a guy you just scream and rage and then when everything is said, you just go on like it always was!! with females... that's another thing, you have a fight without one bad word, but it lasts at least 6 month!!