Differences Between Men and Women?

[hay82]

If there was only three women left in the world, it would be completly impossible for them all of them to be freinds at the same time. One would always be left out so the other two have someone to talk about. There might be a rotating system so it isn't always the same two who are friends.

 

[Jenem]

that's right, we are new BESTFRIENDS FOR LIFE!!!!! we will move next door to each other and name our kids the same and go for power walks everyday

LMAO

If there was only three women left in the world, it would be completly impossible for them all of them to be freinds at the same time. One would always be left out so the other two have someone to talk about. There might be a rotating system so it isn't always the same two who are friends.

haha- that is so damn true. it's true of sisters too

 

[Motokid]

shower - it's long, but funny...the joke I mean

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental
note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,
long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with
43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake
body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making
the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding
area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because
curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and

make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

 

[jenn]

i have seen this before and it is true. our comp is in the kitchen and as i was posting my husband walked in with a towel around his waste to get a drink, grabbed my butt and said, woo hoo.

 

[Motokid]

jenn, I can't help but think I'd like your old man.

I invade my wifes personal space at every opportunity. On the occasion she complains I simply explain that she has nothing to complain about until I stop doing such things. My lustful, barbaric, unappropriate, sexist advances are a sign that I am still extremely interested in her in every way, and that should she notice that one day these crude, rude advances on her have stopped, that's the day that she should really be concerned.

At least that's how I justify a good handful.....

 

[sanyuja]

I agree with you Moto. If my husband stopped doing such things, then I would be really upset! But, that doesn't mean that I will stop complaining about his little adventures!

 

[Motokid]

Because not putting up some kind of fight would be an open invitation for more adventurous handling???? Where's my wife????

 

[jenn]

it's all a very elaborate dance. i pretend to be offended and taken aback at his vulgar passes and he then takes it up a notch. and then i run screaming to the bedroom.....it's no wonder kids think their parents are so bent.

 

[Motokid]

The dance gets more elaborate, and challenging when your kids get older, and wiser.

 

[RitalinKid]

There's a whole chromosome's difference between a man and a woman, but only a few hundred genes' difference between a man and a male pygmy chimp. It's safe to say there are general differences between men and women.

I haven't seen anyone mention this, so sorry if I missed it.

 

[Motokid]

anybody got a banana?

 

[bobbyburns]

hey, who wants a banana? huh? who wants a banana?!

 

[Crystal]

Seriously, bobby, what on earth was that black stone slate in that movie for?
That was one of the puzzles I have wondered.

Goodnight & take care.

 

[RitalinKid]

Says here humans normally have sex less than once a day and with only one other human. Man, being a human would be boring. Well, maybe that's why they invented Viagra. They've gotta keep the species going somehow.

"Hey, Martha! Come in here and get a load of this!"

The total weight of human testes is only 1.25 ounces!? Humans are a lot bigger than us, but I guess that doesn't show up down there. My testes weighed in at 4 ounces the other day. 5 inches! What could they possibly be doing with all that penis? I've got three inches, and I don't know what to do with it all.

"Hey, Martha, when you come in here, could you bring Carol? I think I want to have sex a couple of times."

Geez, one time a day with one person! I'd go crazy.

 

[hay82]

Lazyboy - Man Woman - Lyrics

Man women boy women girl……………

Women without a man is nothing
Without her man is nothing

Women have their faults
Men only have two
Everything they say and everything they do

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage
They've experienced pain
And have bought jewelry
Women have two weapons
Cosmetics and tears

I'm a perfect house keeper
Every time I leave a man I keep his house
No women has ever hated a man
Enough to give him back his diamonds

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time

Man women boy women girl…………..

Men forget everything
Women remember everything

A girl can wait for the right man to come along
But it doesn't stop her from having fun
With all the wrong ones in the mean time

The real reason why it's so difficult to find men
Who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
Is because they all have boyfriends already

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend
A successful women is one who can find such a man

Man women boy women girl…………..

Women driver really means
Someone who doesn't speed, tailgates, swear, make obscene gestures
And has a better driving record than men have

It's a guy thing really means
Irrational, illogical, stupid and extremely low

Oh don't fuss I just cut myself, its no big deal
Really means
I'm about to die but before I die
I want you to remember me as a strong proud man
Who never cries

Man women boy women girl…………..

If you want to learn more about women
Watch sex in the city
If you want to learn more about men
Take a good look at Homer Simpson

The difference between light and hard
Is that men can sleep all night with a light on